#I’ll fish out the criticisms of the other episodes later but I would really just rather have a good story
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The thing is, I’m disappointed in how the story in The Acolyte is being told, but because it has a diverse cast, I’m worried Disney executives are going to blame people’s criticisms and dislike of the show on the cast instead of the writing. I don’t want it to be a case of “See? People of color just don’t draw audiences in, it’s not financially beneficial to us to invest in stories with them as the leads”. It’s unfair to place blame on the cast when their presence is not the cause of a story’s failure. It’s clear the actors did what they could with what they were given but what they were given is mediocre and amateur writing and directing at best
#I have the same complaints about bad storytelling with the Willow tv show and female Ghostbusters movie#And a hundred other things#Most regular people didn’t dislike them because of female leads or people of color or LGBT+ characters#They disliked them because they had terrible stories and scripts and characters!#The Acolyte critical#I’ll fish out the criticisms of the other episodes later but I would really just rather have a good story
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Breaking Down Quagmire’s Tirade Against Brian
“You are the worst person I know. You constantly hit on your best friend’s wife. The man pays for your food and rescued you from certain death, and this is how you repay him? And to add insult to injury, you defecate all over his yard.”
Since almost the beginning of the show, Brian has been in love with Lois Griffin. There have been moments throughout the series that sees Brian trying to get with Lois, most notably in the episode “Play It Again, Brian,” when Brian tries to throw himself at her. This criticism towards Brian could be hypocritical on Quagmire’s part as he too tries to have sex with Lois. But in a later episode, he reveals to his parent Ida that he’s also in love with Lois.
Brian was a stray when he was found by the Griffins. When Brian was scheduled to be euthanized back in season 1 (and later season 17), Peter saves him from being put down.
Of course Brian poops in Peter’s yard; he’s a dog!
“And you’re such a sponge! You pay for nothing; you always say, “Oh, I’ll get you later,” but later never comes!”
This could reference the episode, “Patriot Games,” when Brian loses a $50 bet to Stewie, and defaults on his payment. As a result, he gets the ever-living shit beaten out of him twice. This wasn’t brought up on my first point, but throughout the show, among other side hustles for the sake of the episode or cutaway gags, Peter has worked three steady jobs at a toy factory, a fishing boat, and currently at a brewery. He makes Jack-shit, and probably most likely ended up buying Brian’s car. We’ll get to that later. My point is, Peter is the breadwinner of the house, and pays for everything.
“And what really bothers me, is you pretend you’re this deep guy that loves women for souls, but all you do is date bimbos! Yeah, I date women for their bodies, but at least I’m honest about it! I don’t buy them a copy of Catcher in the Rye and then lecture them with some seventh-grade interpretation on how Holden Caulfield was some profound intellectual. He wasn’t! He was a spoiled brat! That’s why you like him so much: he’s you! God, you’re pretentious!”
Brian’s longest lasting relationship was with a pretty airhead named Jillian Russel-Wilcox. Since their brutal breakup, Brian has tried to find love, but was only interested if she was smoking hot. Quagmire owns the fact that he dates women for their bodies, because he’s a sex-hound. Seriously, read The Catcher in the Rye. The protagonist, Holden Caulfield, is EXACTLY like Brian in every way.
Brian’s pretentiousness has been made even worse in recent seasons, where we see him act like he’s all sophisticated but really he’s just about as dumb as the rest of the Griffin family.
“And you delude yourself by thinking you’re some great writer, even though you’re terrible! You know, I should’ve known Sheryl Tiegs didn’t write me that more. She would’ve known there’s no A in the word “definite.””
BRIAN. IS. A. SHITTY. WRITER. Apparently, he can’t spell either. No wonder his novel did so poorly…
“And I think what I hate most about you is your textbook liberal agenda, how we should “legalize pot, man,” how big business is crushing the underclass, or how homelessness is the biggest tragedy in America. Well, what have you don’t to help?”
Brian actually did lead a campaign to legalize marijuana, but ended up leading another campaign to reverse the legalization so Carter would publish his infamous novel. And Brian along with Stewie has both destroyed the Superstore USA, so Brian has actually done a couple things.
“I work at the soup kitchen, Brian! Never see you down there! You wanna help? Grab a ladle!”
Case and point. Other than legalizing pot and destroying Quahog’s Superstore, Brian has not done diddly shit. Just grab a ladle!
“And by the way, driving a Prius doesn’t make you Jesus Christ!”
This is for ALL you hybrid drivers. YOU ARE NOT BETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE. SHUT THE FUCK UP! I really like the South Park episode describing the attitudes of hybrid owners.
“Oh, wait! You don’t believe in Jesus Christ, or ANY religion for that matter! Because “religion is for idiots!” Well, who the hell are you to talk down on anyone?”
As an atheist, I’m gonna have to agree with Brian on this part. And I especially hate those “Jesus freaks” that are total assholes to those that drop as much as one f-bomb. Yeah, I went to Catholic school, and I did not enjoy one moment of that shit!
“You failed college twice, which isn’t nearly as bad as your father! How’s that son of yours you never see?”
I failed college a couple times. In fact, I actually JUST graduated at age 27.
Brian actively avoids his son Dylan! It isn’t until four seasons later he shows interest in him because he becomes part of the cast in a Disney Channel show, and Brian exploits Dylan’s fame to get a job in the writing room. Did I mention the name of the episode that shows that is “Brian Is A Bad Father?”
“But you what? I would forgive all of that, ALL OF IT, if you WEREN’T SUCH A BORE! That’s the worst if it, Brian: you’re just a big, sad, alcoholic bore!”
That one’s pretty self-explanatory. Emphasis on the “alcoholic” part!
“*sigh* Well, see you, Brian. Thanks for the fucking steak!”
I hope you ordered something expensive, Quagmire! Fuck Brian!
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Demons personal criticism, likes and hopes for the future when it is come to Hazbin and Helluva boss because I either see people blindly loving it or hating it both which don’t really give good input.
Personally I liked it but do think it needs some work so I’ll be both singing it’s praises and criticizing it.
Covering some Hazbin stuff first this is long so I’m going to ad a continue button as to not clog feeds ❤️
The Speed and Pacing issues
Firstly I do want to say I think Hazbin suffers greatly from the small season number that they got I think if the first season was able to have like a 20 episode run of 30 minute episodes a lot of the problems with it would be solved fairly quickly. They had to rush the story and there isn’t as much character development as I would have liked.
I know some people hate it and I don’t know why because when it’s done well it can enhance a story greatly, I think Hazbin desperately needs ‘filler’ episodes. We need to have a chance to see these characters and how they interact with each other on a fairly non-eventful day. That’s a good way on how to bond with these characters more and also introduce characters that may be important later in a fairly subtle way.
Oh an episode that’s all about Angel’s bond with his pet pig this is how we grow to care.
Oh a beach episode where we meet the leviathans or Charlie’s EX the angler fish guy, oh wait they are becoming important now later down the line. Like that’s just good writing. Make it feel natural to an extent but with a time crunch that’s hard. a lot of shows struggle with this especially queer shows and I think sometimes people forget that.
So I do hope the next season gets either longer episodes or more episodes, preferably both. I think it would help the story progress a lot easier and give us some breathing room.
Character Writing
See above haha! I think that’s the main thing the characters struggle with is time. I will also get into specific when I go over specific characters and my thoughts on them.
A large part of what people complain about outside of stuff fixed with pacing is how much they curse and I see it as a half valid take. If you don’t like cursing and don’t like shows with cursing that’s entirely fine and valid, but you have to recognize that it is a personal taste.
I think sometimes the cursing is a bit much, but it’s also not nearly as much as people think it is and it’s also not every single character some curse a lot more than others. Which is good because that’s characterization, for example from what I noticed Alastor and Charlie curse the least out of the entire cast. Charlie probably because she’s the whole one wanting redemption and Alastor probably because it’s ‘not fit for radio’ I think he only curses 4 times.
I know people hate the reasoning but it’s also and say it with me “Takes place in hell”. Which despite what people say is an entirely valid statement to say. Expecting people in hell not to curse is kind of silly unless it’s specifically built with a lore reason why. These are for the most part bad people in an environment where outside of being killed by very specific means are basically immortal. Cursing is probably seen as the least of their fucking problems (ba dum tsh) as those that are stronger prey on those that are weak for eternity because as we know they do all still feel pain. It does make sense for them to curse, cursing is often used for a release. It makes sense but it could also just be personally writing tastes we all write differently and we don’t all vibe with how others write. And that’s frankly ok!
As I said personally I think they could tone it down by a good 40%, but also doesn’t really bother me to much personally
As I already said above I think a big issue is pacing but I’m not going to repeat all that.
Guns, Sex and Violence (and cursing again lmao)
So this is the section where talk about the idea of media purity. So what’s media purity? It’s simply the idea of media being pure, no cursing, no sex, no violence. Which on the surface is fine and there is nothing wrong with media not including any of those things not all media needs to. But a lot of people see any media depiction these and think it’s an abomination oh god no- obviously Hazbin and Helluva both are the opposite of media purity it has lots of all those things.
And that’s ok. That’s the story and framework for what it’s telling you. I’ve seen a lot of people even since the pilot complain about how violent and sexual it is and this and that. I’m going to say something that’s going to blow your minds alright that’s a preference.
Also the trying to frame it as just another South Park, family guy etc show is very far from the case. I’ve seen a lot of people trying to say that, while also critizing Hazbin/Helluva harder then any of those shows.
Hazbin and Helluva both are a show about mostly bad or morally grey people developing as people, some trying to do better some getting worse. It makes crude and rude jokes sometimes but it is actually about telling a story.
On the flip side something I’ve also noticed and it’s definitely not all, but the people harshly criticizing Hazbin and Helluva that have family guy, South Park etc icons just irks me so much because those shows do far worse things basically every episode then all of Hazbin and Helluva it’s just kind of weird thing to go against like that you know?
General hypocrisy of Criticism
I know in the previous one I touched on this a little bit, but I think it needs it’s own place.
It irks me so much how it seems at least from my perspective people are so much harsher on Helluva and Hazbin than they are on any other adult show.
Family guy, the Simpson, South Park, etc have racist, sexist, and rapey jokes at 5 per minute, Some episodes. Stuff that’s genuinely bad with no other meaning behind other than hah isn’t this funny how awful this is it’s all punching down. Yet I don’t think I’ve seen those shows get as much visceral hate as Hazbin and Helluva have and that’s crazy to me.
Especially because Hazbin and Helluva are more character driven shows we see the characters change and grow unlike the adult shows I mentioned above where the joke is just that.
Hazbin can take a realistic albeit uncomfortable depiction of rape and its effects the trauma it leaves and that’s aweful? But family guy has a whole character that’s just rape jokes, but Rick and Morty’s pilot has sexual interactions between the two star characters a grandpa and a kid, and that’s fine?
I don’t understand it.
Especially because the few times characters make the jokes in Hazbin and Helluva it’s directly told as not ok. For example the “Don’t get your taco in a twist” thing that angel says in the pilot is specifically to get under Vaggie skin and it says as much it’s clear that angel isn’t in the right at the moment. Or in Helluva they got criticized for use of the R-slur in earlier episodes they stopped using it and actually mention it in a later episode where Blitzø is about to say it and then says “I really need to stop using that world” this turns the joke more into oh this character is a bad person or they are trying to change rather than punching down. Which as I stated above in my examples a lot of other adult cartoons just punch down the entire time with no real reason. It's something I've noticed where indie shows and products always receive vastly more critism when mainstream media, POPULAR main stream media doesn't receive nearly as much.
And I want to be very clear that's not me saying you can't critise them both, that's stupid. I'm just saying the people that act like Hazbin and Helluva is worse in content and offensive humor compared to other shows in it's medium is not a good faith take.
Why is a show like Rick and Morty praised for good writing when it has more offensive jokes? Why is the reasoning allowed to be because Rick is a bad person when we don't allow Hazbin or Helluva to use that same reasoning?
The viziepop and Hellaverse controversy stuff is so interesting because you can put it all into categories. Some valid criticism, homophobic people, pearl clutching at sex and violence, angry religious people. Sometimes it’s legit hard to get good information because there is such a wide variety in people hating it.
*Generally good criticism of the creator (some stuff that’s been apologized for some not)
*Complete and utter misinformation or bad faith takes about the creator (some honestly get ridiculous)
*Stuff that’s being used to go against the shows that’s just up to taste. IE. the color palettes, stylization, character design, writing etc. (legit seen people trying to cancel them just for the style which is silly lol)
*Complete and utter misinterpretation of the story and characters (some of these are wild-)
*valid criticism of the show and some content in it as it currently stands (some of which will probably be fleshed out later)
*People not understanding that character lore and building isn’t all at once and needs to happen overtime and often has to happen in a certain order to make sense
*People not understanding that Angel’s reaction to SA is one that happens in real life that people go through.
Personally I like the show, I think there is some stuff that as it currently stands need to be ironed out and worked on, but I do like it. I think a lot of current criticism of the show kind of boils down to we need to wait for further context and people forget somehow that you learn things as the show goes on.
Honestly I might do my takes on some of the characters and their individual controversies. Probably not on the creator herself just because there is so much misinformation it’s honestly hard to dig through and I simply don’t want to get into that.
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Why do you think good girls don’t kill off white people ?
Ah! Well! That’s a pretty loaded question, haha.
I think there are quite a few things to unpack within it, particularly around how this show handles race and violence more broadly, and I’m going to do my best to offer an answer to that for you here, but before I do that, I want to start with the fact that I’m not the best person to ask.
Honestly, it’s a conversation I struggle with because while I do read, listen and try to think proactively about media, criticism and the voices of BIPOC writers, audiences and critics, I’m also white and I’m Australian, so presenting myself as anything close to an authority on the subject of race and storytelling in America feels wildly irresponsible at best.
(When I say that too, please don’t get me wrong and think I’m excusing Australian media from similar conversations – Australia has a deeply racist past and present, but the context of that past and present is very different to the experience of BIPOC in America, and to equate the two would be diminishing to the nuance of both conservations).
My point is that if any other bloggers feel comfortable and want to speak to this, or to what I write below, please do! And please tag me so that I can see and reblog, because I know I’m not the best source for this conversation and because I’d love to learn more myself and amplify the voices of people with more informed points of view!
But! You asked me and I don’t want to dodge the question either or thrust responsibility onto others!
So!
I personally think the issues of race on this show vary not just character-to-character, but writer-to-writer, which is indicative of a broader problem with the show I’ll talk about a bit later. Right now, I want to talk about the fact that there have been episodes where I think race has been handled in a way that feels thoughtful and considered. In particular, I’m talking about 2.06 which really paralleled Turner and Stan as Black men working for law enforcement, a conversation that was revisited in 2.09 during the lie detector test when the strength of Stan’s character was contrasted with the self-interest of Turner’s. The latter episode was also bolstered by Ruby and JT’s push-pull which came to a close by spotlighting a class issue often tied to race – under-resourced school districts. These are rounded episodes that touch on the nuance of complicated issues, and I don’t think it’s a coincidence that both episodes were written by Black writers, Des Moran and Carla Banks-Waddles.
That said, that nuance is too-frequently missing.
I think there are a lot of occasions where the show removes race from character and context in a way that is detrimental to not just those characters, but to the show overall. One of the clearest examples of this is – as @foxmagpie pointed out just the other day – the inauthenticity of the show presenting Ruby’s experience of invisibility as the same as Beth and Annie’s, something that the show does more or less every episode. Her experiences would not be the same as theirs, and to present it as such diminishes her arc, her relationship with Beth and Annie, and the show’s themes overall.
That removal of race from character and context is often a key issue that the show has with how it depicts violence. and I’m going to circle back to this point in a moment, but I just want to clarify something else quickly.
The show has killed off white people.
In fact, prior to 2.13, most of the characters killed were white (Eddie and Jeff), although not all (Ruby’s dad), and all the characters who experiences violence were white – Annie was almost raped, Mary Pat was raped, Dean was shot, Big Mike was shot, Ben’s bully had his finger broken, and Boomer was hit over the head with a bourbon bottle, held hostage in a treehouse, punched, manhandled and hit by a car. Marion was also killed off in 3.08.
I’m bringing this up not to diminish the violence that Ruby, Rio, Turner and Lucy have experienced on this show, but rather to emphasise my point above. The show, I think, wants to treat all of this as the same. It wants Ruby, Rio, Turner and Lucy’s identity and race to be incidental in these moments when it can’t be, because it’s not. Because ignoring the social and cultural history of the violence that these characters experience is not only inauthentic, but a part of a pattern of storytelling that brutalises BIPOC bodies in media.
None of us live in a vacuum, and context matters. Context is important. Context is what all of us live with, and on paper – in a vacuum – a man being shot by an ex-lover after he kidnaps her is very different to the contextualised image of a white woman shooting her Latino ex-lover – a sequence of events that conjures racist stereotypes, tropes and historic cultural violence. Similarly, a woman being murdered after being used by a colleague and then coerced by a gang is different on paper to the image of an Asian woman being used by a white woman and then murdered in a country where anti-Asian violence is at an all time high, and when Asian characters in Western media have historically been treated as disposable.
We don’t live in a world without context, so the stories we consume shouldn’t ignore that context irresponsibly.
I also think there’s something to be said here about the salacious presentation of certain acts and the lingering camera on certain moments. The scene with Rio being shot is graphic in a way no other violence on the show has been, with the closest to it – I would argue – being Boomer’s attempted rape of Annie in 1.01, which is a whole other kettle of fish (I have very mixed feelings about how this show uses and talks about rape, but that feels like a whole other post, haha). Similarly, the camera lingered on Ruby’s shot leg (and the story’s stayed with us longer than Dean’s shot chest), and Turner’s body, while Marion and Eddie were both killed off-screen. At the same time though, there’s an argument to be made that the show’s treated the violence against these character’s a lot more seriously than it’s treated, say, Boomer being carted off in a bag after being raped in prison to presumably be further brutalised in some way, or Dean collapsing at Boland Motors halfway through a Fortnite dance.
My point there is that we shouldn’t ignore that white characters on the show are killed and brutalised too, but we also need to acknowledge that these scenes are entrenched in different contexts, which means that the way that they play out has a really different impact, and the show trying to divorce these acts from race is ignorant and irresponsible.
In that sense, I don’t think the show’s trying to be harmful or deliberately relying on racist tropes. I think it’s made active efforts to rectify certain problems it’s had historically (half of s3’s episodes were written by Black women, a marked evolution from 0 in s1), but it’s one that, in my opinion, doesn’t treat race as central to its story in the way that it should, particularly as a relatively diverse show that’s concerned with class, family, poverty and crime in America. And that is why I think the depiction of it varies writer-to-writer, and it’s why I think the show overall can be thoughtless with how it depicts scenes of death and violence, and that is a top-down problem that Jenna and the PTB need to address.
After all, death and violence are always going to be a part of a show like this – particularly a show that has such a small, insulated cast (ergo limited characters to depict as both victims and perpetrators of that violence in meaningful ways), but it’s the thoughtlessness for me that steeps the show’s most racist scenes, and in 2021 that’s really not acceptable and the show should be held accountable.
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Season Two Episode Ranking
Warning: I get very, very, very, critical in this ranking. Like, angry ranting that’s almost laughable. Should I be getting this worked up over an online series? Eh, probably not. But this is my life and I’ll get outrageously angry over whatever media I want.
Seriously though, this is all just my personal opinion. I’m not saying you have to agree with me and if you like the episodes that I don’t then that’s perfectly fine.
I tend to overthink things a lot and I spend most of my time analyzing every little details of this series because what else am I supposed to do at work?
So yeah, this ranking is definitely less positive than the one I did for the first season. But I hope y’all can still have some fun going over it! And if anyone does their own rankings be sure to tag me because I’d love to see them and see how mine compare!
Anyways, enough of me acting like this is more important than it is, on with the ranking!
I can’t believe season two only has 12 episodes. Now I went ahead and counted Moving On as one episode in this ranking since my opinions on both parts are pretty similar, but sweet cheese and fish this season started on September 1st, 2017 with Fitting in and right now is left on Putting Others First which came out on May 1st, 2020. And as of me writing this it is now May 2nd, 2021. It’s been a whole year since the last episode and we still have no idea when the finale is coming.
Like, bruh.
Also remember how the longest episode in season one was only about 15 minutes long and the shortest one was barely four minutes?
Well the shortest episode in season two is Crofters- The Musical which is 8:42 seconds. The longest episode is Putting Others First which is a whopping 51:09.
And I wish I could say that the writing was on the same level it was in the first season, but there’s a reason I put that warning up there.
Well, enough stalling, let’s get this ball rolling.
#11 Embarrassing Phases
There are no words in the English language that can describe the sheer amount of hatred I have for this episode. If I could rank this any lower, I would, which will happen once we finally get the season finale. I don't know how that episode will go but it'll definitely be better than whatever dumpster fire this was.
Like, okay. I have some positives. Roman, Patton, and Virgil's costumes were cool. I won't lie I live for vampire Virgil. And the message about embracing your past "phases" and exploring how they helped made you who you are. That's neat. I like that.
And that's it.
My biggest gripe with this episode is Virgil. He just acts like a complete bitch in this! And I don't mean that in an endearing way he's literally so mean for no reason!
He's all "You guys are trivializing my past!"
In response to them going "Hey Virgil, we're glad you're part of our group now and are proud of how far you've come!"
Like okay, even if it was insensitive to call it a "phase" literally there was no reason for him to get as angry as he did.
Just a simple; "Hey, I don't like it when you refer to what I went through as a phase because it feels like you're not talking it seriously."
Isnt that what this whole show is about? Communication???
It wasn't fun watching him just insulting the others, it was annoying!
Like poor Patton, just trying to help and be encouraging, only for Virgil to keep treating him like dirt.
What did I miss here? Virgil was fine in the last few episodes, so what the heck happened?
Oh and let's not forget the great advice Thomas offers Patton at the end of the episode in regards to handling Virgil: "Don't do anything to get on his bad side or else he'll do bad things to you!"
Okay I'm paraphrasing here but that's basically what he says! And since Virgil is supposed to be a representation of anxiety, this is a horrible message!!!
What happened to finding healthy ways to cope with your anxiety? What happened to keeping it in check so it didn't take over your life?
Yeah I'm definitely gonna make a full post about this one episode later because there's a whole lot more to unpack here. But yeah -10/10
#10 Putting Others First
There is just way too much going on with this episode. They try cramming so much in here that I don't even remember more than half of it.
I remember the opening song, then the Lilypadton fight and everything that happens from there. That's it.
And those are the best parts of this episode, but even that has problems because everything with Janus feels like a completely different episode.
Also the whole way they try to teach about morality is all over the place. How did we go from choosing a wedding over a callback to deciding whether or not you would die for your friends to self care is important?
And while the video game sequences, while utilized well in some places, were way too distracting and it felt like they were just trying to shove as many video game references in as they could.
You could take out just about all of them and the episode wouldn't change. Everything they were used for could have been done just through having the characters talk to each other, and knowing this makes the fact that this video was delayed for so long because of it just makes the whole thing worse.
Like the animations were well done, and I don't want to downplay the hard work the animator did. They were just doing their job after all.
But the trolley scenes (especially the second one) hurt my eyes with all the flashing (would have been nice to have some kind of warning for that) and some of the voice effects (especially on Logan's) were grating and distracting.
I want to rank this episode higher, but it has almost zero rewatch ability and honestly besides the ending, when I first watched this episode I was just kinda let down.
#9 Crofters- The Musical
Okay look, the song is a bop and I adore the fact that Logan and Roman got two episodes in the spotlight, but it's just kinda "meh" to me. Plus I get just a tinge of second hand embarrassment but that's just me.
And I know this is kinda unfair but another reason why this one isn't higher is because of a couple of things. One is that they set up some angst for Roman, he's clearly not doing well and Thomas thinks the best thing to do is tell him that he might get his own jam flavor.
Then he does, and instead of following up on that little plot point from this video, they just rushed out a commercial and completely ignored and potential story telling or character development for Roman.
So yeah "Return of the Jam" is the main reason why I don't like this one as much as I used to. And I actually just got an idea for a new post comparing these two so add that to my to-do list.
#8 Fitting In
I actually skipped this one during my first official watch through for one reason and one reason alone: I wasn't allowed to watch Harry Potter.
But I realized that my parents wouldn't approve of me of watching a gay man's content either so I just said screw it.
And luckily I understood enough Harry Potter references to get what they were talking about and honestly, this episode is a lot of fun.
It's a good follow up to Accepting Anxiety, and a nice way to kick off season two. Virgil is finding his place among the group and everyone is trying their best to make him feel welcome, it's really sweet.
And of course we get the new costumes (which i hadn't even noticed that they were wearing their old costumes at first) and I dunno it just gives off season one vibes and it makes me happy.
#7 Moving On Part One/Moving On Part Two
Yeah honestly my thoughts on both parts of this episode are the same. What can I say? It's really good.
This definitely one of the more emotionally heavy episodes in the series, and we see the characters at their lowest for really, the first time in this series.
I adore Patton's room and how each side gets their own corners. All the little details they add in, including the changing picture in the background, it really gives off that nostalgia feel they were going for.
What I love most about this episode is how (unlike some other episodes) they actually let the emotional moments sink in and don't throw in a joke immediately after. Like the ending is bittersweet, sad almost, and I love that they stuck with the mood up until the episode ended.
Not to say there weren't some jokes here and there (mostly in the first part) but once the mood shifts and things become more serious they let that mood stay. And when there are jokes they all work really well.
This is one episode I've actually watched the least out of season two, so it'll be interesting when I go watch it again to see if any of this holds up.
#6 Why Do We Get Out of Bed in the Morning?
Honestly I only put this one above Moving On because Logan and Roman are my favorites.
This episode is actually one of the weaker ones, which hurts to say because again, favorite characters, but goodness it's all over the place. It feels like a precursor to POF and not in a good way.
Logan and Roman just basically argue back and forth throughout the whole episode, never seeing eye to eye with each other, to the point where I think think the writers realized they couldn't find a way to get these two to agree so they just had Thomas step in and be like, "You guys make a really good team!"
Dude, were you even paying attention? They never even reached a conclusion on their own. And even though they have their little moment at the end, it's all kinda ruined when nothing in their relationship changes.
Yes, in Learning New Things About Ourselves, they acknowledge that there's more work to be done in regards to them, which makes sense. People aren't going to suddenly change overnight.
Yet despite having come to some kind of understanding with each other twice now (both here and LNTAO) in the following episodes they still act like they hate each other! Heck Roman is downright nasty to him for seemingly no reason and I don't really blame him for it.
More like I think the writers just don't know how to develop their relationship and just aren't as interested in them as the others. Logan's been reduced to being Mr. Exposition and apparently Roman's personal issues aren't enough for him to carry a room episode on his own because they felt the need to introduce two new characters before he finally gets it.
Sorry, what was I talking about? Oh yeah, the episode.
There's some funny bits here and there and the little animations are cute (even if unnecessary) but really it's only saving grace is being Roman and Logan centered.
Even though they felt the need to include a cameo from literally every other character because apparently no one has any faith that Logan and Roman can carry an episode on their own.
#5 The Sanders Sides 12 Days of Christmas
This episode is just pure fun. Look, I'm not a big fan of Christmas, even less of a fan of Christmas songs, but my gosh this episode almost makes me appreciate the season.
The way they're all just bickering the whole time, being very confused, and how there's just so much personality from each character even when they're not talking/singing and just being in the background is *chef's kiss* perfect.
There's so many fun little details to pick out during the song and it's fun to go back and watch how each side reacts to different things.
#4 Selfishness vs Selflessness
Gonna be real, this used to be my favorite episode. Until my overly critical brain started finding all kinds of problems in the writing department but I think I’ve been negative enough on this post so I’ll save it for another time.
Janus steals the show in this one, it’s his first official appearance since his debut and he just soaks up the spotlight. It’s refreshing to have an antagonist in the show again, and he’s the perfect foil for each of the original Sides.
He knows how to play into Roman’s insecurities, know how to feed into his ego and get him on his side. He’s in direct opposition to Patton, who believes that everything Janus represents is wrong. He’s able to silence Logan and take him out of the conversation, speaking over him most of the time.
And I guess he and Virgil have some beef I dunno.
The courtroom scenario is fun, and I love how Janus is the only one who sees how ridiculous it is (even though it was your idea in the first place, Jan) and everyone else seeing it as perfectly normal is hilarious.
I do like some of the more dramatic moments in this episode, especially that final bit with Janus questioning Thomas until he finally gets him to admit the truth. It was intense and reminded me of the scene where Janus confronts Roman in a similar manner.
While far from perfect this is still a good episode and I can find a lot to love about it, like Janus in a suit.
#3 Dealing With Intrusive Thoughts
This episode scared the shit out of me and I loved it.
Okay it didn’t actually scare me. But I stayed up to wait for it to be posted, which wasn’t until 2 or 3 in the morning. So by the time I finally watched it I was half awake and not expecting anything that I witnessed.
The result was me being terrified of Thomas with a mustache and it prevented me from sleeping. I was over it the next day though and had Forbidden Fruit stuck in my head all day. Which isn’t good when you’re running the register at work and you can’t stop singing it.
There’s a lot of reason why I love this episode, Remus being the primary thing. His entrance is iconic, the first few notes from his theme play as he creeps up behind the TV, him smiling at Roman all creepily until he whacks him over the head and knocks him out for most of the episode.
Then we get the song, Forbidden Fruit, which is just great. Slight secondhand embarrassment but seeing the finished product and all they put into it, I can’t help but love it.
Still miffed that Janus hasn’t gotten a song... specifically a villain song... I won’t ever let that go...
Logan is another highlight in this episode (no surprise) and seeing him go head-to-head against his polar opposite without batting an eye was interesting since I was kinda expecting them to show Logan having trouble dealing with Remus but nope. He handled it like a champ and I love them both.
Now I am kinda wary as to how they’re going to handle Remus in the future, especially with the intrusive thoughts aspect. It’s a sensitive topic and they’re already screwing up anxiety. But Remus has only been in one episode so far which means I can’t make any solid judgments until he’s appeared in more episodes, so I’ll have to wait and see.
All in all, great episode! Definitely deserves to be in my top three.
#2 Learning New Things About Ourselves
This episode made me feel so nostalgic. I freaking love puppets and grew up with Sesame Street and the Muppets, so I’m probably biased towards this episode but to me this is really one of the better written episodes.
Perfect? Heck no. But really, really good.
I love that we get to explore a bit more with Logan and Roman’s characters, in a lot of ways this is kind of a Logan episode which has him standing against the other Sides, and it’s really interesting to see just how different he is compared to the three of them and it could just be me but it seemed like he’s becoming more of an outsider and isn’t as close with the original four as he used to be, and this episode is what really kicks that idea off.
I can also relate to the “Well that’s nice but what do you do for a living?” message, except in my case it’s more like I want to quit my “real job” to pursue what I’m passionate about while people tell me it’ll probably never happen or “Yeah that’s a nice hobby!” So this episode really struck close to home and I just have a lot of sentimental feelings towards this one.
I love all of the designs for the puppets, they all just fit perfectly and I wouldn’t mind seeing them make a comeback one day. I know that’d be difficult since they’d need a professional to puppet them but hey, one can dream right?
And oh my gosh the song, it just gives off the same feel from Sesame Street and Muppet songs with it’s jazzy feel. And I won’t lie I flipped my lid when Logan and Thomas were in the same shot together. We hadn’t seen any of the Sides share the screen with Thomas yet and the fact that it was Logan, and he was arguing with Thomas and they were singing over each other? Ah I love it!
Also don’t get me started on how Logan’s bit in the song sounds more villainous than the others. I’m not saying anything just a neat little observation.
I have a lot of happy feelings attached to this episode, so despite the few problems I have with it I could never bring myself to hate it. The only one that tops it is...
#1 Can Lying Be Good?
The episode that started it all. The one that caught my attention and sparked my new fixation on this little series that I had just glossed over before.
I really don’t know what prompted me to watch this episode, other than I wasn’t in the best place and it just happened to pop into my recommendations one day and I figured, “Huh, haven’t watched this guy for awhile. Let’s see what he’s been up to.”
Once the episode was finished my first thought was “Holy shit when did this series start having lore?!”
This episode is probably the closest thing to perfect out of all the season two episodes so far. The writing is clever, pretty much all of the jokes land, and oh my gosh the editing in this one is phenomenal.
The way they show Roman shifting between himself and Joan throughout the episode is what sticks out the most. Having Roman’s voice coming from Joan, or having them briefly change back to Roman, I love it so much.
Not to mention Thomas’s ever changing shirt that reflects what he’s thinking/feeling is a neat little detail.
Did I mention this episode is hilarious? The ridiculousness of each scenario that they act out, with all the little inputs from Logan and Virgil who are both trying their best to do their jobs besides not even wanting to be part of it in the first place is adorable.
And of course, the man of the hour, Deceit. Or Janus as we now know him as.
Is it weird that I like Deceit more as a name? Probably, but that’s just because I don’t like how early his name was revealed.
Okay that was my last negative comment. Promise.
Now since I hadn’t watched Sanders Sides in a while I didn’t notice anything off about “Patton” during my first watch. But going back after seeing the rest of the series helped me catch all the little hints they added to clue in the audience that something wasn’t right.
A lot of it is really subtle, mostly in the acting department, but once you’ve caught on to everything it makes you wonder how you didn’t notice the first time. You can even see Logan and Virgil throughout the episode, knowing that something is off with “Patton” but holding back their concerns until Virgil finally calls Deceit out.
I’ve rewatched Deceit’s reveal so many times. When he finally drops the act after Thomas makes up his mind not to lie, you can just tell he no longer cares whether Thomas knows or not. Then things get even more tense when Logan is silenced, and everyone knows what’s going on except Thomas.
The music starts to build up, Thomas is flipping out, then after Deceit taunts him again he finally demands to know what’s going on and BAM there he is!
I love everything about this.
Like, what else can I say? This episode is brilliant. It really shows exactly what this team is capable of when they’re at their best. The pacing, the build up, the writing, all of it combined together to make the perfect episode.
Season Two has been, interesting. The long waits have caused some problems with the pacing and characters, not to mention the departure of Joan from the writing team with new writers entering the room, not to mention the first welcome now unwelcome arrival of Asides, and with only the season finale left before season three, it makes me wonder just where this series is headed.
I know this series is capable of doing incredible things, season one is still solid and it really holds up even after all this time. But season two just feels like a jumbled mess. Sure, it’s easy to enjoy the episodes individually, but once you try to fit them all together it’s like trying to jam a puzzle piece into a place where it doesn’t fit.
The best way to describe this season is as an experimental season. Each episode has the team trying something new, sometimes it seems these gimmicks take precedence over the story itself. Of course, some of these can work to the episode’s advantage, while others are just distracting and you’d know you wouldn’t miss them if they were gone.
It’s a mixed bag that’s for sure. One that has me watching in morbid curiosity as I wait to see whether it’ll crash in the end or blow my expectations out of the water. It really is fun to analyze these episodes, and yes I know I can be very harsh but believe it or not this is how I engage with media that I love.
My hope is that team will learn from season two and try to take a more simple approach with their production once season three roles around. Because if they continue at the same pace they are now I doubt there will be many people around to see this series through.
And on that note, that was my ranking of season two! I’m actually kinda excited now to go back and rewatch everything, I hope I don’t have to wait much longer to do so but that all depends on when the season two finale comes. Whether it ends up exceeding my expectations or just being “meh” I know it’ll be interesting regardless and I can’t wait to see just how they plan on wrapping this all up before the final season arrives.
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Season 8, Episode 5: What the Heart Wants
I was going to try to follow my scene-by-scene format for the entire season, but I’ve been getting a lot of migraines recently, presumably from staring at the computer too long, so I don’t want to spend all morning working on typing up the play-by-play for this episode.
Also, for what it’s worth I think this episode lends itself to plot discussion better than some of the previous episodes...at least in some sense.
And as another head’s up, it’s back to being critical for me. ;P
Storylines:
School Ends/Graduation/Parent-Teacher Conferences
The Dress Shop/Rachel
Postal Service, Ned
Bill’s Uniform, Nathan’s Vacation
Carson and Faith
Henry
Elizabeth and Lucas
Clara’s Dilemma
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School Ends/Graduation/Parent-Teacher Conferences
This plot felt a little scattered, but for once it wasn’t the kind of storyline they foisted too much drama upon. After years of every single function possible being besieged by bullshittery, it’s a relief to see one go off without a real hitch.
The beginning scene with Robert hugging Elizabeth was sweet. I enjoyed the Canfields immensely and am intrigued by Angela’s role in the story long-term (PLEASE let her befriend Allie!). Nathan...eh, I have thoughts—but I’ll talk about that a bit soon. The actual ceremony was cute and kind of fun with the kids singing.
Neat Thing I Noticed:
Continuity? Cat Montgomery is still listed as Emily’s mother. ♥♥♥ I don’t know why but this made me really happy???
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Complaint Corner:
Parent-teacher conferences should have been in this show from a much earlier point, and so should graduation have been. If there was a point to this celebration (the first year in a while anyone was old enough to graduate) that would have been a nice touch, too. It just managed to feel sliiiightly out of place.
I’ll forgive the “everyone in town goes to the graduation” thing because this is 1918...something like this would be a whole-town affair IMO. Invite everyone and have a nice get-together/party, probably on a Sunday afternoon after church but Hope Valley does whatever it wants, so...eh.
The threat of merging Hope Valley with other schools doesn’t fit in this scenario and it feels like they ripped it directly out of Tales from Avonlea which was almost rage-inducing to me.
Look, school mergers happened a lot in the early 1900s, especially around the WWI mark, but it wouldn’t be hitting a rural western town just yet. They don’t have any way of getting these kids to other towns for schooling. Where would the next closest school be? It would have to be pretty large and modern to merge multiple schools together.
*Adjusts nerd glasses* This felt forced and completely unnecessary. If anything this guy could be telling Elizabeth that they’re working on building a modern school somewhat close by, and could even have her involved in some decision-making regarding layout. Then they could bring in a “merger” storyline next season without it feeling out of place.
It mostly just felt dramatic for the hell of it, and it was boring, as was this man’s threat that Elizabeth had no right to teach a blind student. As if they’d accept Angela at a better school? As if her parents could afford top tier education for her? PLEASE.
Now it’s time for Nathan. The man chose to go fishing instead of to the parent-teacher conference? It makes him look like a tool. This isn’t about him or about Elizabeth; it’s about Allie. I understand why he didn’t want to go, but he should have done it anyway. It would have taken five minutes of his time.
His flippant attitude annoyed me because it went completely against his character as we know it, but Elizabeth’s lecturing was irritating, too. For a moment I thought we had Lorigail back on the show...
I think Elizabeth was well within her rights to warn Nathan about the effect his work has on his ward, but that inquiry took like a week AT MOST. Heck, let’s be generous and say TWO WEEKS. Allie’s concentration suffered for two weeks. There was no need to say more than, “Hey she worries about you and her work suffered for a bit during that time frame, just so you’re aware.”
I think what annoyed me about the math program thing is that...Elizabeth being a teacher would probably be VERY WELL AWARE that MOST of the parents to her students aren’t good enough at schooling to assist their kids with their homework. I dunno, it just feels out of place for her to tell Nathan that she wants to put Allie in an accelerated “program” and that Allie might need his help with her homework. It’s even more out of place when he admits he used to bribe his sister to do his work for him. Like. It’s very possible he’s not that good at math and isn’t capable of helping. (But maybe that will be a plot down the road...?)
“Or a tutor...” BITCH WHERE IS HE GONNA FIND A TUTOR IN THIS TOWN?! It’s super annoying to see dialogue like this that feels completely out of touch with the reality these people would be living in...lol. But also if she needs a tutor to stay caught up in an advanced program, she probably...shouldn’t be in the advanced program.
I don’t know how to feel about this whole thing here: “Nathan, you are Allie’s world. You’re the only father she’s ever known, and as she grows up you will always be the measure of the quality she’ll look for in a man as she chooses who to marry.”
On one hand, it does fit the situation (he seems to think everything is behind him but Elizabeth’s words are kind of a caution that 1) his actions still have an effect on Allie, and 2) every day he’s teaching her by example). On the other hand, it seems almost wildly inappropriate to bring up? At the same time, it’s probably not wrong that Allie will measure other men (friends, acquaintances, potential future romantic interests) against Nathan’s example.
I dunno. The conversation felt disjointed.
I think what they were going for was Nathan just feeling too awkward and weird about being with Elizabeth to want to be there for the conference, but...he interacted with her quite normally after the inquiry and stuff (even after she’d broken things off with him), so...it feels out of place. Like maybe this should have taken place right after the breakup and not weeks later?
Anyone else have thoughts on this and why it doesn’t feel quite right?
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The Dress Shop/Rachel
This plot wasn’t what I would call a waste of time (rather, it’s worth having it mentioned now), but part of it was completely pointless and stupid. The whole Rachel getting lost thing was tacked into the promos to stir up drama, but nothing happened and there was nothing worrisome even going on. YAWN.
Rosemary’s desire to do something meaningful and different with her life is super interesting. I’m very curious to see what they decide to do with her if Dottie does sell the dress shop.
Also, Rosemary finding the book under Rachel’s bed was pretty funny.
But yeah, I didn’t really find much in this plotline to care deeply about. I guess I am pretty interested in knowing who might be purchasing the dress shop and/or if this decision is to bring someone else onto the show (a female love interest for the man who doesn’t win Elizabeth’s heart in the end, or even to bring back an old character*) or to take the dress shop out of the equation entirely... It’s also just as possible that Rosemary/Lee or Clara/Jesse end up buying it themselves down the line... Thoughts?
*I can’t begin to imagine who would be the best fit for this in this case, though. Who would have the money to buy her out?
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Postal Service, Ned
Ned is just honestly so cute and fun. I love him. He’s really been doing well this season and seeing him wander around town delivering mail door to door was kind of nice.
Also, he’s one SMOOTH operator! Look at him, talking about putting a bell on the door so that he and Florence won’t be caught off-guard if they’re in the middle of...something.
Oh my, Ned. What might customers be...interrupting? :3
Continuity? Not only was the ulcer from last season brought up, but the horrid cabbage juice was, too. :’) It was a nice touch. And these two had just enough screentime to be kind of fun/interesting without also taking up too much time.
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Bill’s Uniform, Nathan’s Vacation
Nathan got his vacation and Bill is in charge...again. This happens an awful lot. I wonder if it’ll actually impact the next few episodes or if it’s just here for the hell of it.
I love Bill a lot and I want to brag up his character in this episode a bit. I’ve complained many times in the past about him being written like a Grumpy Old Man Yelling at Clouds but this episode was super respectful. He got his scene with his uniform. Nobody interrupted it. There weren’t even any words. I quite liked it.
But it also felt kind of...pointless? I don’t want to judge it too harshly yet. Like the dress shop plotline, this could actually be going somewhere in the next couple of episodes.
Plus, unrelated to the uniform, it was nice to see Bill acting fatherly toward Clara. While it sort of came out of nowhere for the wedding, I appreciate the attempt at continuity there. Plus, so far this season, I’ve felt like Bill’s almost been a father-figure to Clara, Fiona, and even Nathan, so I’m enjoying that a lot.
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Carson and Faith
CONTINUITY? The show finally remembered that not only is Carson actually a surgeon, but that was his original passion. It’s not that they completely forgot (S5 had him performing surgery on his sister-in-law, after all), but giving Carson a PASSION makes him a way more interesting character to me.
And also, finally, this feels like a REAL high-stakes plotline for him and for Faith.
I really liked Faith’s take on things. I know, I know, I’ve been rooting at them to break up, but the reason is mostly because they’re just so BORING together. I’d rather watch Henry twirl around in a chair for an hour than suffer through date scenes with these two.
It’s not that I’m against a doctor wife/husband team. I’m not. I just think Faith was a much more interesting and cool character on the show before Carson showed up and usurped her place (and completely overshadowed her for literal seasons). This plotline for Carson might actually be interesting. Like, a fellowship? For modern surgery? IN BALTIMORE?!
I hope this is Faith’s way of saying she wants a break and/or a break would be good for them. I can’t picture her leaving Hope Valley without any trained medical staff, let alone long enough for a fellowship...
But if this goes through, what will they do with it? Would they really write Carson off the show? To be perfectly honest with y’all, I’d be fine with that. At least it’s the type of write-off that makes a lot of good sense (unlike some of the other ones we got). I guess this is just another “wait and see” plotline which is uhh...the theme of this episode, huh? Anyone have thoughts on this?
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Henry
Henry barely had any screentime, but I do want to say he is #relateable. The man is back at work for ten seconds and already exhausted. SAME.
Also, I appreciate that he’s ready to be back in the oil business. At what cost? I know people were worried they were gonna kill him off, and I really doubted it, but now I’m starting to wonder where they’re going with this exactly. Yet another wait and see moment LOL!
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Elizabeth and Lucas
Some damn fine scenes for Lucas and Elizabeth in this episode. Mostly the scenic ones. :P
I enjoyed the agreement to a date. The horseback riding stuff was pretty cute.
Complaint corner? I don’t know. I have petty complaints. Even though the celebration for the kids was a town-wide event, and therefore Lucas was invited, it still felt out of place to see it brought up. Maybe it should have been mentioned as a town celebration from the start?
Then Lucas’s comment about not wanting to make things awkward for Nathan (who is actually a parent and there) makes a liiiittle more sense. I do think it was good of him to not go, even though he wanted to spend more time with Elizabeth, but it gave off a weird vibe, like, “Look at how good and wholesome Lucas is!” Is that intentional? I’m not...sure...?
For what it’s worth I already felt like Lucas was an honorable person in this regard. He loaned Nathan money, after all. Maybe he should have told Elizabeth he views Nathan as a friend and doesn’t want to hurt his feelings unnecessarily and/or if he was there he’d want to hog her all to himself or something cheesy. Hm.
My other complaints are:
Elizabeth running to the saloon would be WAY faster than all this getting set up at her house...?? Who thought this made sense?
Elizabeth’s dress looked like a nightie she bought at Kohls.
Too many damn candles.
Characters Do What Plot Dictates Even Though Plot Makes No Sense. More at 11:00!!
I have no further comments on the dress. It needed sleeves or something so it looked more like a dress and not like a nightgown/piece of lingerie.
I think the candles might have been on purpose to parallel Jack...but I hated it lol. Fire hazard? HAVEN’T ENOUGH THINGS IN TOWN BURNED DOWN/EXPLODED?!
I didn’t hate the date scene! But I never feel like Elizabeth has any meaningful conversations with Lucas and it’s starting to drive me batty.
Could we get uhhh something of substance please? It has to be surface-level nonsense on purpose. Right? RIGHT?
(And no, discussing a book for ten seconds on-screen is not “intelligent conversation” okay...?)
It’s really a shame because I’m starting to actually warm up to Lucas a little bit in this season but it feels like the conversations are just...kind of stilted and she’s not really into dating him—just agreeing to it because he’s the only option.
And I can’t believe I’m saying this, but...he deserves better than that.
Don’t get me wrong, by the way. If it’s part of the story and it’s revealed as such down the road, I’ll be fine with it...but I always worry they’ll just skip important relationship milestones and/or important conversations and expect us all to just accept it.
Kiiiiiind of looking forward to the rainy date scene in the next episode, though. I’m Team Nathan mostly but I’m keeping an open mind and I think I might actually enjoy it. Hopefully they’ll get some good scenes together that don’t feel like this one did.
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Clara's Dilemma
Clara’s fears about running the salon without Fiona...are legit. LOL.
Also, this little bit was funny (between Mike and Jesse and Bill):
Anyway, if Clara was that worried about it, she should have just...told Fiona no? I hope it comes up down the road. Poor Molly??
I genuinely don’t know how I feel about Clara and Jesse’s involvement in this episode. I guess it was okay. I liked Clara’s scenes with Bill. I thought the idea of Clara and Jesse buying into the cafe was a nice one. Jesse having “invested” their money and lost it all, though... They did a similar plot with other people in what...Season 5 was it? Or was that the start of S6? He didn’t even say what he invested it in? But he admits the money is all gone?
I think that’s what was missing from that scene. “I invested it in X, hoping to make us more money, but it didn’t work out and we lost everything.”
I’m not going to criticize Jesse’s characterization, only because sometimes character "growth” doesn’t happen for the better of anyone involved. My biggest worry here is that it’ll be solved by the end of next episode....but I hope that’s not it.
Like, I think they did better with Frank and Abigail if we’re going to talk about a man who didn’t know how to live like he was in a committed relationship. It made more sense with Frank, too, being older and single most of his life. His bouts of selfishness felt realistic.
Jesse feels like he’s somehow getting worse and worse as a person as the show goes on. I’m kind of at a point where I hope he and Clara divorce, because he’s so damn selfish it’s embarrassing. He’s off having a beer while his wife works multiple jobs? And then he has the audacity to act like they should save money when he just blew all their savings?
I’m sure it’ll work out fine but I hope Clara puts herself in charge of the finances at the very least.
As to investing failures, I liked how they did that with Henry and Abigail. That was the kind of tension and worry that felt natural to me—like she trusted him with her money after he’d proven himself untrustworthy ten million times throughout the years, and he failed and had to uhh admit that.
Jesse straight up betrayed Clara. Which, if it’s dealt with in a satisfying way...I think can be a good plotline. I just worry about it actually being dealt with properly. That’s a huge stumbling block in a relationship. And why is he continually getting worse as a person? There doesn’t seem to be any rhyme or reason to it.
Gasp... it’s almost like it’s just plot because they feel like they have to give someone something every damn episode.
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Which brings me to THE FINAL
COMPLAINT CORNER (The Big Boy™ Complaints)
The show has really struggled with finding its footing. I wish they’d take notes from better shows with ensemble casts (cough cough Road to Avonlea cough) without also ripping off their storylines (cough school merges cough).
My #1 complaint at this point in Season 8 is the SHEER AMOUNT OF THINGS GOING ON EVERY EPISODE.
I want continuity, so I want to see things happen naturally over a season, but my God do we not need to have mindless pointless crap in the episode. Rachel getting “lost” for ten seconds wasted literal MINUTES of screen time that would have been MUCH better allocated to basically anyone else in this episode.
And I don’t think it would bother me so much if it wasn’t also shoved into the promo like it was supposed to matter. It didn’t matter. Nobody cares. Why was it allowed to stay in the episode alongside stuff like Clara and Bill’s conversation?
Or Lucas and Carson’s?
I think they want to appease all the fans in every episode by giving them scenes of their favorites, but what did Henry sitting in his chair accomplish in this episode? Rachel getting lost? Jack not sleeping well/missing his mom? The school superintendent?
Did Bill trying on his uniform have to be in this episode? Did Jesse and Clara’s problems have to come fully to light right now?
When every episode is formatted like this, with 10 plotlines all interconnected slightly and going on at the same time, I feel like...nobody gets the spotlight they deserve when they deserve it.
I cANNOT believe I’m saying this, but this plotline for Carson, especially if it will end with him leaving the show for a while or permanently should get the focus it deserves. But it won’t if we get tiny snips of it here and there and then BOOM decision made because Reasons.
And again, I know I’ve said before that I want more continuity throughout the season, but... the best way to do that is to tighten up the plots. Have fewer of them per season and give more screentime to the ones you choose to pursue.
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Anyway, I’m still enjoying the season, but I hope they keep some of this kind of stuff in mind for next season. They don’t need plotlines for everyone in every episode. They need the plotlines they choose to write to be worth their screentime.
Sorry this was sloppily written and all that. Hopefully it makes sense. Very curious to see y’alls thoughts. Feel free to make your own posts and @ me, or reblog this or comment!
#when calls the heart#long post#season 8 spoilers#season 8 shenanigans#analysis and meta discussion#character studies and information
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Here’s another bonus chapter for The Time it Takes to Fall! This little snippet was in the original Epilogue. When I wrote this story I wrote the Prologue, then the outline, and then this scene! Of course it was different then, seeing how I changed the ending, but it’s the general gist of that scene that always stared at me from the bottom of my google doc. Anyhow, I couldn’t not publish it, so here it is! I hope you enjoy it...
Goodbye ”You’re leaving?” Thorne asked, squinting up at Cinder through whatever haze of alcohol hindered his vision. “But why? Where are you going?”
Cinder let out a sigh, slumping her body forward, resting her hands on Thorne’s desk so she was eye-level with him. She’d been dreading telling Thorne that she was leaving, and she wasn’t entirely sure why. Perhaps it was because she was the only person who actually worked in this garage, or because she was the one who most often covered for him when he was too drunk to function. Or maybe it was because he was the only actual friend she had ever had.
“I’m gonna travel the world,” she said, unable to stop the slight sight that tinted her voice with the words. She still couldn’t believe that it was true— that she was going to leave this town and see all the places she had only been to in past lives. It still felt almost like a dream; but no, Kai was real, and so was everything that he had ever told her.
“How?” Thorne scrunched his brow, looking truly puzzled.
Of course he would be confused, seeing how Cinder made hardly enough to stay afloat; but times had changed. Kai, though sometimes not the best in terms of his critical thinking skills, was practical. He’d invested in banks years before she, Cinder, was born, and through all those years his account had grown. There wasn’t a place in the world they couldn’t visit, and there were so many lands they wanted to see.
“I’m traveling with a friend,” Cinder said slowly.
“What friend?”
“Stars, Thorne,” Cinder huffed, pushing herself back from the desk. “Why do you even care? I’m leaving, and that’s all that matters. I’ll finish my two weeks but then I’m off.”
“Wait wait wait,” Thorne held up a hand. It quivered slightly. “Slow down, Cinder. Geez, I just wanted to make sure you’re okay. You know, last time we talked you told me that your boyfriend thought he was some long lost prince of China or something whacko like that. And you left early due to a family emergency. How did that go?”
“Fine,” Cinder grumbled, rubbing a hand across her face and surely dirtying it. “My mother died, and I’m planning on visiting my sister this weekend. And where Kai is concerned, that’s none of your business.”
“None of my business?” Thorne shrieked, causing Cinder to jump. “What the hell do you mean it’s none of my business?”
“I mean,” Cinder growled, nostrils flaring, “that you are not involved in this— I don’t have to tell you what I’m doing with my life. We worked together, and now we don’t.”
“Oh, so it doesn’t matter that you wanted my advice last time. Little Cindy has everything figured out, and can’t be bothered to tell her friends why she’s leaving. Are you in trouble? Is something going on? I can help you, kid, if you’re in trouble-”
“No,” Cinder whispered, all her anger abandoning her in a second. “Everything’s fine. I’m not in trouble. Actually, I’m going with Kai, and–”
“What?” Thorne roared, standing up from his seat and stumbling a little, placing his hands on the desk to steady himself. “You’re telling me that you’re running away with crazy-pants? Do you want to be on the next episode of Dateline?”
“It’s not like that,” Cinder said, crossing her arms defensively over her chest. “It’s- it’s-”
“What’s it like?” Thorne asked, stepping around the desk and placing a hand on Cinder’s shoulder. “He hurt you? Because I’ll-” Thorne stumbled a little bit, throwing his other hand on Cinder’s other shoulder. “I’ll knock his face in.”
Cinder grabbed Thorne’s wrists and pushed him back until he sat upon the desk. It was rare that he was this drunk at work; it must have been a rough night.
“It’s not like that at all, Thorne,” Cinder grumbled, shutting her eyes for a moment, then glaring at Thorne. “And besides, it’s none of your business.”
It was strange how gaining the memories of her past life had changed her. She wasn’t a different person, but rather a more detailed version of herself. She wasn’t scared, as she once had been, and no longer was she equipped to handle the dramatics of most mortals. In fact, it was hard to communicate with those she had once known in this life— they just didn’t understand her. She couldn’t fathom how Kai had made it through all those years without anyone for company other than that heinous fish deity.
“Cinder,” Thorne sighed, “I just want to make sure you’re okay— I worry about you, kid. I truly just don’t want you to get murdered.”
“Thanks,” Cinder huffed, rubbing the bridge of her nose. “I really appreciate it Thorne. Really. I just– I don’t know if you’d really understand the circumstances.”
“Circumstances?” Thorne asked, leaning forward.
“We’re getting married,” Cinder mumbled, voice low.
Not an instant later, Thorne was on his feet again, his eyes ablaze as he sputtered, “That bastard knocked you up, now didn’t he? Oh aces and spades, I’ll kill that little psycho for you. I will–”
“There will be no killing of my dearest love,” Cinder hissed, throwing her hand over Thorne’s mouth to stop him from shouting. “This is a consensual marriage; no one is– is knocked up, and no one is being coerced, and no one gets to have an opinion on whether or not it’s a good idea other than Kai and myself!”
Thorne stared at her, and Cinder knew that if her hand weren’t covering his face he would be slack-jawed. Never before had she been so firm with her points— so sure of herself— but times had changed. She was a new woman—er, old woman?—and no longer did she take crap from anyone, especially someone slandering Kai’s name.
“We talked, Thorne,” Cinder explained, checking over her shoulder to see if any of the other employees were listening in. As per usual, they were all engrossed in their tasks, not caring about Thorne’s drunken dramatics. “We figured things out, and we love each other. We’ve decided to get married and travel the world together. We’re happy— I’m happy.”
Thorne leaned away from Cinder, allowing for her hand to drop from his mouth and down to her side. “Well if you’re happy and okay, then I guess that’s all that matters, now isn’t it, kid?”
“Yeah,” Cinder smiled, a bit sheepish. “It is.”
“I’m happy for you,” Thorne said, unable to look at her. Cinder could see a mistiness in his eyes. “I will miss having you around though.”
Cinder patted his shoulder, trying not to laugh as she watched Thorne. It wasn’t that she found the situation funny, it was that she wasn’t entirely sure how to deal with this. Of course she’d realized what Thorne’s friendship meant to her, but she had never known that her friendship meant anything to him in return.
“I’ll miss you too,” Cinder said, wrapping her arms around herself. “But hey— I’m still here for another two weeks, so it’s not like this is goodbye.”
Cinder glanced out to the front of the garage and saw a familiar face smiling at her. Cinder grinned in return, unable to help the flutter within her chest. The mere hours away from him had been too many— she couldn’t wait to be in his arms once more, and feel him against her and know that they were finally together after so many years apart.
She gave Thorne one last pat on the shoulder, hardly comprehending his verbal goodbye to her as she walked away.
Kai held his hand out to her, and Cinder took it, standing up on her toes to kiss him before they walked out into the rain together, away from Thorne and the garage, and all the world that was not them.
#the time it takes to fall#ttittf bonus chapter#ttittf#lunar chronicles#the lunar chronicles#tlc fanfiction#kaider fanfiction#kaider#linh cinder#selene blackburn#emperor kai#prince kai#marissa meyer#salt warrior stories
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Ressler & Liz and the “light”
There’s been a lot of discussion/debate both here and on Twitter about JB’s recent end-of-season interview where he discussed that final Ressler/Liz scene of “Brothers” and said:
The original break of the story, [Ressler] did call Red and – and that’s what the original move – that’s what the move is, you know, and with where we were going in mind, it felt like maybe we need to – you know, it needs to be her that he calls and that’s actually my favorite scene in the whole episode. I thought she was fantastic and – and, um, their sort of relationship this season has been very unusual and – and as she’s sort of drifting away and - or closer to, you know, whatever is this sort of organic, you know, DNA part of her, he’s this like light that is – represents good and the Boy Scout and all the stuff and, and um, I think that’s why he’s sort of become more interesting to her, uh, more special in a way, because of the contrast, you know, that juxtaposition. I think it’s interesting, their relationship’s interesting.
Below are my thoughts on Jon’s reference to Ressler as a source of “light” for Liz and why I was happy to hear him say it and felt it was consistent both with the evolution of those characters and their relationship over the seasons. I welcome constructive discussion (and criticism), but it’s no secret that I am a Ressler fan, and a Keenler shipper, so if you absolutely hate one or both of those things, you probably won’t like this post (also fair warning - it’s a long post).
The show continually draws on the classic literary themes of light and dark, in which “light” typically represents good, positivity, happiness, hope etc. while “dark” typically represents bad, negativity, sadness, despair, etc. Each of the main characters have struggled internally with balancing the light and dark over the seasons but for purposes of this post, I am focusing on Liz and Ressler.
In Mako Tanida (1x16) when Ressler was hell-bent on revenge for Audrey’s death, Red warned him:
“Agent Ressler. Once you cross over, there are things in the darkness that can keep your heart from ever feeling the light again.”
In the back half of Season 5, when Liz was basically in the same situation that Ressler was in back in S1, Red similarly cautioned her in Ruin (5x09):
Red: I want you to promise me something. Liz: What? Red: That you’ll grieve. Liz: Of course I’ll grieve. What is this that you think I’m doing? Red: I think you’re running away from your problems when you should be facing them. I’m sure it feels like you’re staring into an abyss, but until you mourn, you won’t be able to cross it. Liz: What’s so great about crossing it? What’s on the other side? Peace? Tranquility? Red: Some. Liz: I prefer revenge. Red: That’s what I’m afraid of. Liz: Really? ‘Cause imagining what I’m gonna do to Tom’s killers is the only thing that gets me out of bed in the morning. Red: Don’t just go off and hide in the dark. Wherever you go, look for some light.
Red knows this struggle all too well, because he has already gone down that path. He’s already landed in the darkness, as he explained so eloquently to Liz in Luther Braxton (2x09):
Red: It may be hard for you to imagine, but I once had a relatively normal life– bills to pay, playdates, family, some friends, people to care about. Lost all that. Liz: Lost how? Red: In Mexico, there are these fish that have colonized the freshwater caves along Sierra del Abra.They were lost. They found themselves living in complete darkness. But they didn’t die. Instead, they thrived. They adapted. They lost their pigmentation, their sight, eventually even their eyes. With survival, they became hideous. I’ve rarely thought about what I once was. But I wonder if a ray of light were to make it into the cave, would I be able to see it? Or feel it? Would I gravitate to its warmth? And if I did, would I become less hideous?
These themes of light and dark also intersect with the themes of forgiveness, salvation and redemption. As Red explains to Liz in Tom Connolly (2x22):
I’m a sin eater. I absorb the misdeeds of others, darkening my soul to keep theirs pure.
And in The Kilgannon Corporation (5x07), Red explains to Liz how Dembe tries to save Red’s soul from the darkness:
Red: You ever wonder why Dembe stays with me? Why anyone so decent would spend his days at the side of someone so indecent? Liz: You saved him. He owes you his life. He protects you because you protected him. Red: No, Elizabeth. Dembe didn’t stay with me because he saw me as his savior. He stayed with me because he saw me for the man I really was – a man surrounded by darkness. No friends who could be trusted, no faith that loyalty or love could ever truly exist. I was– Well, I was younger then. Angrier. Dembe connected his life with mine to show me, that day and every day, that the world is not what I fear it to be. He is the light in the darkness. Living proof that there is another way, that life can be good, that people can be kind, that a man like me might one day dream of becoming a man like him. He pledged his life, offered it up as evidence that I was wrong about this world. Dembe guards my life because he’s determined to save my soul.
At the end of Ruin, Liz returns from Alaska and admits to Red that she’s still in a dark place:
Liz: I tried. I really did. I didn’t go looking for trouble. But it found me. And I’m glad it did. Red: What happened? Liz: I killed some men. Doesn’t matter that they were bad. That it was them or me. What matters is that I did it and I was good at it. And I didn’t lose any sleep over it. Red: You will. One of these nights you will. It’s just a matter of when. Liz: Maybe. Later. After I’ve crossed the abyss. But from the side I’m on now, all that matters is that I’m healed and – I’m back. And I’m coming for Tom’s killers. Like I said, I couldn’t keep my promise. Can you forgive me? Red: Yes. Will you be able to forgive yourself?
And in the next episode, The Informant, as Ressler is struggling with how to handle Prescott, Red also discusses forgiveness:
Forgiveness doesn’t mean accepting what you’ve done, Donald. It means understanding that the line dividing good and evil cuts through the hearts of all of us.
This is important for Ressler, who has struggled to accept that mixture of each, both in himself and in others. But by the end of the episode, Ressler is ready to choose the light, to do the right thing, to try to pull himself out of the darkness he’s been living in:
Red: You were preoccupied. Ressler: I was crazed. And convinced I should kill the man who shot her. Do you remember what you told me to do? Red: I told you to go home. You didn’t. Ressler: You said that once you cross over, there are things in the darkness that can keep your heart from ever feeling the light again. I didn’t go home, but I never crossed over. I never thanked you for that. Red: Nor should you. Your circumspection afforded me the opportunity to take care of Audrey’s killer myself. It was a win-win. Ressler: I didn’t want Prescott’s real name so that I could kill him. I wanted it so I could arrest him. Red: He goes to prison, so will you. Ressler: I know, but I’m in the darkness, and doing the right thing is the only way I’ll ever feel the light again.
Against Ressler’s wishes, Red acts as sin eater again (as does Cooper in accepting Ressler’s confession but refusing to pass it through the proper channels). Because in Red’s view:
Sins should be buried like the dead. Not that they may be forgotten, but that we may remember them and find our way forward nonetheless.
In Season 7, in Brothers (7x17), we learn that Ressler has an even larger skeleton in his closet. Once again, he is concerned about doing the “right thing,” because he can’t live with the secret hanging over him any longer. This is his way forward, back into the light.
Ressler: Well, say you agree with me about how we should handle this. I mean, we arrest those bastards who took the car – for theft, for extortion, for all the other poison they pump into the city. And then after that – my brother and I come clean about what we’ve done. Liz: I don’t know that I do agree. After the story you told me, after what you’ve been through – both of you– Ressler: No, we have to do the right thing. It’s important. Liz: Of course, yes, I will help you. I just want to make sure you’re prepared to face the consequences when the FBI gets their hands on that vehicle and that body. Because if we go in and arrest those people, eventually, the FBI’s gonna open up that trunk. Ressler: And find Tommy Markin. I know. Liz: Are you really okay with dealing with the consequences of that? Ressler: I’ve been running from this my whole life. I need it to be done. We both need it to be done.
This time, Liz acts as his sin-eater and makes the body disappear. So how does this all fit together in terms of Ressler and Liz and their relationship?
Liz has always seen Ressler as a good person, as someone on the side of light rather than dark. Even when he was hunting her as a fugitive in Season 3, she still defended him in Eli Matchett (3x03) after Red questioned why she reached out to Ressler for help:
Red: Ressler is a law-enforcement robot. The FBI winds him up– Liz: That’s not true. He’s a person. He’s a good person. Red: Look at me. You need to let that go, Lizzy. I have survived for a very long time now, and I assure you, I didn’t do it by relying on the goodness in people.
At the same time, she’s questioning whether she herself is still a good person.
Liz: I shot a cop. Red: Yes, you did. Liz: And killed the Attorney General of the United States. Red: Yes. And when you did that you crossed a threshold, leaving your world, entering mine. Bad things are gonna find you now, Lizzy. This life has a mind and a momentum of its own. That’s a reality you need to accept. Bad things happen to good people. Liz: Am I a good person? I’m not so sure anymore.
By the time we get to Season 7, and Brothers, Ressler is the one calling Liz the better person as he prepares to turn himself in:
You know, Keen– I didn’t like you when we first met. I was wrong. You’re a good agent. You’re the kind of agent that – people join the FBI to try to become. But you’re also a good person. Much better person than I am. So, whatever happens out there today, the Task Force is gonna be in good hands with you.
But she doesn’t let him - as she explains later, for herself, not for him, because she needs the peace and stability that he provides in her life, she needs that “tiny island of calm,” amidst the dark forces that surround her.
Liz: Have you looked at my life? I’m a widow and a single mom. A marionette – with a high-functioning sociopath pulling my strings. My grandfather tried to murder my mother, and my mother is a legendarily lethal Russian spy – who moved in next door without even telling me who she was. I mean it. Have you looked at my life? I mean, really taken a close look. Because it’s like I’m in the middle of a monsoon that’s constantly threatening to drown me in bad news. And somewhere in the middle of that FEMA disaster of a life– Somewhere is just – a tiny island of calm. And if that weren’t there, I would be swept out to sea. Ressler: No, that’s never gonna happen– Liz: It would if you weren’t here. Ressler: But I am. And it won’t. Come here. It’s never gonna happen. Not on my watch.
Ressler has consistently represented peace and calm and stability to Liz amidst the chaos. It’s there from the very beginning when she clings to him after the Stewmaker ordeal at the end of 1x04, it’s there again when they hug in Mato 4x02 after he shows up at the Summer Palace, it’s there in Dr. Bodgan Krilov (4x19) when she envisions a peaceful future for Ressler watching the sunset from his lake house while Hitchin goes to jail:
Liz: I didn’t do it for you. I did it for him. Hitchin: Fair enough, but you did it, and for that, I’m grateful. Liz: Donald Ressler represents what’s best about this country. He’s loyal and honest, and he believes that no one – no one – is above the law. And I believe that one day, you’ll be the one being dragged off in handcuffs. And he’ll be walking into his lake house to watch the sunset.
It’s there in Season 5, the first episode that they share a meaningful scene together after Ruin, and The Informant, when Ressler is talking about “silver linings,” in the Capricorn Killer (5x16) as he wraps his arm around her.
So for me, Jon calling Ressler a "light that is – represents good and the Boy Scout and all the stuff” is completely consistent with all of that has come before between these two characters and isn’t something Jon just made up out of whole cloth. More importantly, the fact that he characterizes Ressler as “more interesting” to Liz now because of the contrast, and the juxtaposition between her darkness and his “light” is also encouraging to me insofar as I don’t want to see the show end violently - I want to see it end with Red and Liz at peace and with Liz achieving the calm, normal life she’s always wanted (and which Red has promised her for seasons now she will have in the end). So the fact that she’s still interested in light and peace and calm, despite her step further into the darkness at the end of 7.19, is an encouraging sign to me that Liz is not entirely lost.
Back in Season 3, in a midseason interview with The Blacklist Exposed between episodes 3x08 and 3x09, Jon said that Liz “is definitely on a dark path...and I think she will continue to be,” and that “it’s a battle for her soul, it’s a battle for can she survive going through this process.”
There’s a conversation between Ressler and Cooper in the comics (The Arsonist, #6) that illustrates that Ressler’s concern back then wasn’t just preventing Liz from being physically killed, or “beating” Red, but more a fear of losing her to Red’s world - that the darkness would overtake her.
Ressler: I want to bring her in while she’s still...her. Every second she’s out there Reddington’s turning her into someone else. Cooper: That may be, but it’s your job to catch her Donald. It’s not your job to save her.
Four seasons later, I think it’s still a battle for Liz’s soul, but an internal battle that has never really gone away. The battle is not Reddington turning her into someone else, but rather own struggle against her dark impulses, her own struggle to fight for some light, some peace, some calm in her life amidst the chaos. And for that, I think she needs someone to help pull her back from the brink before she takes that step too far, someone to remind her that there is another way.
I hope going forward into next season, that will be Ressler, who will draw on his own experience battling his own demons and help prevent Liz from slipping into the abyss. Does that mean that Keenler will end up a romantic couple in the end? Not necessarily (though personally I hope so). But I take Jon’s comments as a positive sign that Ressler will be a positive force in her life as she steps into yet another battle.
Wine for all those who made it this far!
#the blacklist#donald ressler#elizabeth keen#keenler#jon bokenkamp#theories#long post#really long post#I resisted gifs and images to try to keep it shorter
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Sometimes A Thing Feels so Right: Part 2
Excerpt: Maybe she should be grateful she even knows someone could make her feel the way Newton does. Lately, though, it’s hard to feel grateful. Izzie is back to the ol’ numb-your-emotions-to-get-through-the-day routine. Her mum left again. No note, no nothing, just unanswered questions and disappointed kids.
TLDR: Timeline is after Season 3, Episode 9. It’s canon, except Izzie and Casey have not made up. Also, Evan and Casey are close friends, not just awkwardly figuring out how to be friends. Excuse the roughness, this is a work in progress.
The timeline for this story is after Season 3, Episode 9. I felt like the time in between the party where Izzie kisses a random guy (E9) and the part where Casey and Izzie make up (E10) could have been longer. It wasn’t necessarily rushed, but there was lots of potential to add more, especially in regards to Izzie’s internalized homophobia. I thought it would be fun to flush out Izzie’s feelings, and show her coming to terms with being gay. She realizes it’s not worth hiding a part of herself, especially if it means losing Newton.
Everything is the same as canon, except Casey and Izzie have not made up. Also, Casey and Evan are close friends. I think S3 E10 ends on a note where they’re friends, but still awkwardly figuring out what that looks like, so in what I just wrote, they’re solid friends.
This is unfinished, as you’ll see (it’s too jumpy), but my plan is to continue working on it. There are some things about the beginning that I don’t like, particularly the student council scene, but I’m struggling to think of ideas on how to improve it. So know that things are a work in progress and subject to change.
With Izzie’s emotions on my mind, I considered how the show hasn’t written much about her home life, either (not yet anyway--cannot wait for S4). So, I decided to write about life at home, her siblings, and the weight of having an absent parent. I was inspired and struck by the scene where Elsa sits down with Izzie, and shares how her mother was absent, too, and how that impacted her parenting style.
If you’re wondering why Izzie is hanging out with a superficial, “mean girl” crowd, it’s because I think that’s the role she played before she met Casey. This assumption is based on how Izzie first treats Casey, like when she pretends she pushed her during the sprint and when she refuses to help Casey on her first day of school. I’m also considering Izzie’s intimidating presence, and how she seems to have influence over her nameless, pre-Newton friends. This influence can be seen when she shows up at Casey’s birthday party with their Clayton Prep friends. I’m assuming that Iz is the main reason why they’re all there.
Phew! Anyhow, that’s how this piece began. Thank you for reading. Reach out if you have ideas, suggestions, criticisms, etc., or if you write Cazzie or Atypical fanfiction, too.
Friday, two weeks after the party. Izzie.
Since the party, the only thing Izzie knows about her and Newton, is that Newton wants nothing to do with her. It makes sense, really. Right after they almost kissed, she bolted and made out with someone else. Sometimes, Iz thinks of how turned on she was when Newton leaned in to kiss her. The memory alone makes her feel alive. It takes her out of the daily havoc and chaos created by her mother, reminding her of better things. It’s not like she savours the memory of Newton, though, or uses it to make herself feel better, because it inevitably gives way to embarrassment. Izzie went all the way with Nate and never, not once, did her body to respond to him like that. How could she be so dense to not know something so obvious about herself?
Maybe she should be grateful she even knows someone could make her feel the way Newton does. Lately, though, it’s hard to feel grateful. Izzie is back to the ol’ numb-your-emotions-to-get-through-the-day routine. Her mum left again. No note, no nothing, just unanswered questions and disappointed kids. It’s been a long time since Iz held any hope that her mum would stop using. Her siblings are different. Sometimes they still wait for her, awake in their beds at night, hoping she’ll come home safe.
But her siblings are all younger than her. Jason, the oldest, is eleven. He helps out with Alysha, their seven-year-old sister, and Arya, their two-year-old sister. He is so unbelievably sweet and Iz has no idea where he gets it from. She tries not to place too much responsibility on him, though. He’s still a kid, and the last thing she wants to do is rob him of his childhood.
Iz walks up the stairs to Clayton Prep as the warning bell rings. She cut it too close today. Selena has been sick this week, so the usual morning routine was a slog. She’s fussy, so Izzie woke Jason earlier than usual to help Alysha get ready. Iz considered an earlier wake-up time for herself but Coach is particularly barky lately, concerned that she is not getting enough sleep. It’s annoying when Coach notices things, because she’ll ask if things are okay at home. And what is Izzie supposed to say, exactly?
“My mum is an addict.”
“My siblings need me to take care of them.”
“I’m worried that I’ll have to quit track, because my mum is a mess.”
“At any moment, the floor could fall out from underneath me, and I live with that possibility every day. But yeah, things are okay at home.”
Anyhow, Iz knocked on Jason’s door and gently shook him awake. Waking Jase 20 minutes earlier than usual doesn’t count as ruining his childhood, right? His response is a groan and a loud, “Why!?” That’s how Izzie knew it was going to be one of those mornings.
Like usual, the rest of the morning was a blur as Izzie got Arya ready for the day, while monitoring Jason and Alysha. She fed Arya as they got on their shoes.
“Where’s your coat, Jason?” Izzie asked in between scooping spoonfuls of mashed banana into Arya’s mouth.
“I don’t need one.”
“You wear your coat when you leave this house. Go get it, please.” She handed Arya their agendas and lunch, then kneeled in front of her.
“Love you, hon.” She said before giving her sister a big hug and a kiss. Jason returned with a blue jacket and gave Iz a quick one-armed squeeze before running out the door.
“Wait for your sister!” She yelled after them before the door slammed shut.
When Izzie’s mum is sober, she leaves the house at 7:30 am, promptly arriving 15 minutes before the warning bell. With her mum AWOL and Arya needing to be delivered to her grandparents, Iz gets to Clayton Prep 15 minutes later than usual--too late for somebody trying to get into UCLA.
Izzie rushes to her locker. Her pre-Newton friends, who’re her current friends, wave and tell her to “hurry up.” Iz turns her lock clockwise, counterclockwise, clockwise in its familiar pattern, then opens the door. As she is switching out binders, her heart stops when she sees a folded piece of paper. A note from Newton? Not wasting a second, she grabs it and opens it.
It reads, “Do you like me?” Two unfilled boxes are underneath, one with the word “yes,” the other with the word, “no.” There is no name indicating who wrote it.
Izzie’s heart pounds in her chest. Newton didn’t write it. This would, sadly, be the most exciting part of her school day. She stuffs the note in her pocket and makes her way to the library.
Student council is a new gig for Izzie. She has essentially reverted back to her pre-Newton self. Her old friends happily welcomed her back, inviting her to join student council in the process. There is Scarlet, who is like Regina George with less anger. She’s popular, bossy, mean, but she doesn’t mess with Izzie. Then there is Harmony, who is like Scarlet’s right-hand woman who does what Scarlet says. She probably has a personality, but Izzie hasn’t seen it, yet. Maybe Harmony will get a personality once she snaps. Lastly, there’s the new initiate who Iz is just getting to know. Her name is Mel, and she seems sweet. Why she’s hanging with Scarlet or Harmony is still a mystery to Izzie.
Iz enters the room right before the bell rings, and pulls out a chair. Everyone is looking at her.
“So?” Scarlet mischievously smiles. “Any new news?”
“No.”
“No… notes?” Harmony jumps in.
“Oh, yeah, but no name on it.” Izzie pulls the note out of her pocket, unravels it, and puts it on the table.
Scarlet snatches the note and examines it, while Harmony and Mel lean in.
“It’s from Brad. As in Nate’s friend, Brad.” Scarlet points to a previously unfolded piece with Brad’s name. The girls look giddy, all with wide grins on their faces. Well, at least Harmony and Scarlet are grinning, Mel looks uncertain. She likely has no idea who Brad is. Lucky girl.
Izzie sits on the other side of the table, not impressed. “Great. The best friend of the dickhead who lied and cheated on me likes me.” Iz starts fishing her binder and pens out of her backpack.
“Oh, come on, Iz. Chin up. This could be a great rebound for you. Also, it would totally make Nate jealous.” Scarlet and Harmony giggle.
Iz enjoys the thought of an angry Nate, too, but she mostly doesn’t care. “Can we not talk about Nate? I’d rather just get started.”
“Yikes. No help this morning, either?” Asks Scarlet.
Izzie shakes her head. Unfortunately, Scarlet and Harmony are very aware of Izzie’s home life situation. Iz had a moment of weakness months ago (pre-Newton), where she broke down and told them about having to look after her siblings.
The girls are empathetic to Izzie’s situation, promptly starting the student council meeting. There is a school dance coming up that has Harmony and Scarlet’s attention. Iz zones out, thinking about how everything at Clayton Prep drags without Newton. It’s less interesting, less fun. She remembers the time she pretended Newton pushed her during their first sprint. Shame immediately rushes over her at the thought of the memory. Izzie was so certain Newton was just another over privileged rich kid.
“Iz?” Scarlet is staring at her.
“Yeah?”
“Wow, where were you? We’re voting on Mel’s idea. Should we ask for LGBTQ+ safe spaces in our next meeting?”
Izzie is caught off-guard. Usually, the conversations revolve around more trivial things, like dances and hem lengths on the girls’ uniforms. Her mouth moves before her brain catches up.
“Yeah, I support Mel’s idea.”
Scarlet raises her brow. “Okay, you two can brainstorm ideas for making safe spaces. Harmony and I will keep working on the dance.”
Mel turns to Izzie, “Thanks.”
“Yeah, well, Clayton Prep is supposed to be one of the more progressive schools, but I barely see any posters or anything saying it’s a safe space.”
Mel smiles and nods, “My thoughts exactly.”
Izzie feels her heart skip. Is that… excitement? Did something more interesting happen today than a jock’s secret love note? She tries to keep herself from smiling too wide while brainstorming with Mel, who is suddenly the only other person on her radar.
Later that evening
The first clue that her mum is back is the hunk of junk parked in the driveway. The second clue is the smell of pepperoni deluxe pizza that hits Izzie when she pushes open the door. Her mum always bought pizza as an “I’m sorry” treat. Iz walks into the kitchen with three large bags of groceries--groceries that she rushed to buy after school, so her and the kids could eat dinner at a reasonable time.
“IZZIE, my beautiful, gorgeous girl!” Her mum gets up from the table and gives her an exaggerated hug in front of Boyfriend Number… Six?
Iz doesn’t know if she’s high or not, and doesn’t care to find out.
“Hey.” She’s short as she puts away the food.
“This is Steve. Steve, meet Izzie, my oldest.”
“Hi, nice to meet you.” Steve almost sounds like he means it.
It’s never worth her time to meet her mum’s boyfriends, so Izzie ignores them and puts away some pasta sauce and beans.
“Hey,” her mum’s tone flipped remarkably fast, “I raised you better than that--don’t ignore people when they talk to you.”
Iz has also learned, over time, that it’s best for her to preserve her energy when it comes to her mum. This is one of those battles that wasn’t worth her time.
She turns to Steve, expressionless, and says, “Hi,” then immediately begins to put away canned corn and soup. “So Steve, were you in the picture before or after my mum left without notice for five days?”
No answer from either of them, but it doesn’t matter, the situation is disappointing enough already. Iz slams the cupboard shut and leaves to check on her siblings. She numbed herself the moment she walked through the door, anyway.
Saturday morning.
Iz wakes up the next day to a bright, beautiful Saturday morning. She groans, not wanting to deal with her mum today, so she decides to go for an early run. Leaping into her hoodie and track pants, she pads down the hallway and into the kitchen.
“Hi, beautiful.” Her mum is sitting at the table with a cup of coffee.
Iz frowns and fills her water bottle. “Did you sleep last night?”
There’s a scoff and a shuffling of feet. “What does it matter if I slept or not?”
“You know it matters!” Izzie’s raised voice even surprises her. Insomnia is one of her mum’s symptoms when she’s taking too many painkillers.
Her mum doesn’t say a word.
“Where did you go?” Izzie presses.
“I’m not having this conversation with you right now.” Her mum gets out of her chair and leaves the room. Other symptoms include hostility and mood swings. Nowadays, it was difficult for Iz to pinpoint her mum’s “normal” level of agitation. She always seemed sad or angry.
Feeling the familiar anger rise in her chest, Izzie calls after her. “Wherever you were for the last five days, I hope it was worth it!”
Friday, two weeks after the party. Casey and Elsa.
It’s a normal day in the Gardner household, whatever normal is when Casey’s autistic brother understands her relationship with her ex-girlfriend through the lens of two gay penguins who adopted an egg. And now Casey is not with her ex (hence the term “ex”), so she’s wondering if there’s another example of a gay penguin that Sam can compare her to that doesn’t have a partner. Oh, and then there’s her parents who are living together but not technically together, but they sometimes go on dates...
Anyhow, Casey is readying herself for a run. She wolfs down some pancakes made by Elsa, who is doing her typical mum thing and staring too long at her daughter.
“What?” Casey asks in between mouthfuls of fluffy, syrupy deliciousness.
“Have you talked to Izzie, lately?” She asks because for over a week, Casey hasn’t been looking at her phone with a goofy smile on her face, or laughing to herself while staring at the screen. Something is up.
“Nope.” It’s a firm “no,” denoting that there’s nothing else to say about the subject.
Elsa is not convinced, but letting her kids come to her for support has been not only rewarding, but extremely successful, so she doesn’t press further.
“Uhm.” There’s a beat as Casey wonders whether she should continue or not. “I saw grandma yesterday.”
Elsa stops washing the plate she’s holding, and turns to face her daughter. “Oh. Where?”
“Outside the hair salon. I crossed the street and talked to her for awhile.”
“That’s good!” Elsa nods a bit too vigorously to sound convincing.
“Why don’t we see her much? I mean, like, what happened between you two? For real.”
Casey knows that Elsa and her grandma don’t get along, but Elsa has held back on telling her daughter the full truth. Painting her mum as an alcoholic, absent parent wasn’t how Elsa wanted her children to see their grandma. And, even though those days are in the distant past, they still stir up difficult feelings for Elsa.
Maybe she was unwittingly selfishly avoiding this conversation? She used to tell herself to wait for the right time, and now seemed like as good a time as any. Especially with Casey opening up to her recently about her feelings toward Izzie. She usually went to Doug for advice, so to finally have “girl” time together was really special.
With that thought in mind, Elsa pulls out a chair and sits beside her daughter. She takes a deep breath before speaking.
“I didn’t get along with my mum growing up. She wasn’t around when she should’ve been. She’d drink too much, come home too late, and there was a lot to do around the house, because she was absent. She was often around...physically, she didn’t go on benders or anything, but she was mentally gone. A lot. Even now, it’s hard for me to be in the same room as her, let alone trust her.”
Casey sucks in a quick breath. Elsa’s eyes are watery, but no tears fall. “Oh.” Casey’s short reply feels stupid and lackluster. Speechless, she hugs her mum. For once, she feels very grateful for her mum’s presence, even if that presence is often bothersome.
“Love you.” Casey says before pulling away.
“Love you, too.”
“Thanks for not being a giant, meddling Elsa earlier.” She smiles wryly before leaving her seat, then leaving the house for her run.
Saturday. Izzie talks to Evan.
She loves the feeling she gets when she is running, like all her problems are somehow smaller, because she can think clearly. Izzie’s feet hit the warm pavement rhythmically, taking her further and further from home. Sometimes she fantasizes about running and never turning back. She could be free, free to go wherever she wanted and be whoever she wanted to be. But that’s all they were--daydreams. She could never leave Jason, Alysha, or Arya. One thing she could do, however, was let her feet take control, at least for a little while. Which is why she eventually found herself at… Don’s Pizza?
You don’t want to be here, she thinks to herself. Evan works here.
She stands looking at the entrance while families peer over at the strange, lone person on the edge of the parking lot.
Fuck it, I’ll just sit down and buy a slice. Just because Evan works here doesn’t mean that this has to be a big deal.
Iz lets her feet walk her through the front door. He is there, of course, standing behind the counter, wiping it down with a washcloth. He hasn’t looked up, yet. She could still leave.
“Evan, customer at the door.” Someone barks from the kitchen.
As soon as his eyes meet Izzie’s, his face hardens, but he walks over.
“Hey.” There is an awkward pause. “Would you like to sit at a booth or the counter?”
Iz doesn’t skip a beat. “The counter.”
“Uhhm… that’s where I’ll be.”
“I know.”
His eyes narrow. “Look, I don’t think we should talk about Casey.”
Iz raises her eyebrow. “Oh, are you suddenly uninterested in her? That didn’t take long.”
Evan folds his arms and sighs. He doesn’t want to stand in the doorway any longer, and he is a little curious as to why Izzie is here. The last time he talked to Casey, she told him that Izzie didn’t want to date her, almost like she had cold feet or something.
“This way.” He says gruffly while walking toward the available spot at the counter.
She follows him and pulls out the bar stool. Iz looks at the table while Evan stands behind the counter, the two saying nothing.
“I think I made a mistake.” Izzie blurts. Her chest rises and falls. Was she sweating? “I never should have got between you and Casey. She deserves...I can’t give her what she deserves. My life is complicated and I’ll just get in the way of her and UCLA.”
Evan is leaning against the counter, his arms outstretched with the washcloth in his back pocket. “For someone who’s smart, you’re really dumb.”
“I know.” Iz covers her face with her hands. She is overwhelmingly embarrassed by confiding in the one person who likely hated her, and unbelievably distraught over missing Newton.
“What is the problem?” He’s exasperated. “She left me because she likes you more. When I was with her, she lit up when she talked about you! Casey was different around you, like you two were in sync or something. You’re an idiot for throwing that away.”
Izzie feels her eyes warm up from the tears. Evan sighs and looks right into her eyes. “Just go to her.” He waits a beat. “Please? Preferably sooner rather than later, so I can get back to work.”
A grin spreads across Izzie’s face and she hiccups out a laugh. “I’m not ordering anything.”
“Yeah, I gathered that. I’ll still take a tip, though.”
She smiles wryly and puts the only bill she has on the table. It’s $5. “That’s for stealing your girlfriend.”
“That’s…” For once in this conversation, Evan is speechless. “You know what? I have actual work to do, so…”
Iz pushes in her stool, feeling lighter than she did ten minutes ago. “You know, I think I’m starting to understand your appeal.” She switches to a more serious tone. “Thank you.”
Evan nods and does, in fact, get back to work.
#casey and izzie#cazzie#cazzie fanfiction#fanfiction#atypical#help me fix the beginning#halp pls#excuse the mess#good guy evan
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15.10: The Heroes Journey - Episode Review/Recap
Haven’t done one of these for a while, but I really wanted to watch this episode. I’ve seen mixed feedback on it and wanted to put down my own thoughts. As always, due to it being show critical, it’s under a cut. Everyone looking for positivity, zero criticism, rainbows and puppies can scroll on by.
I’ve seen Hellers moan about what the “bibros” issue with this episode is, given that the brothers are together so what have we to complain about? And if nothing sums up the Hellers more, it’s that mentality. Castiel doesn’t even have to be in the same episode and they are still happy because apparently, Castiel was a lamp in this episode. I mean, how dare I be so entitled to have higher standards than just having them finally be in the same episode and working on the same case. How dare I expect that the episode actually be… gasp…good.
I’ve also seen other people try to say (with no supporting evidence whatsoever by the way) that The Heroes Journey is the same as Bad Day at Black Rock (BDABR) or Yellow Fever. You are free to say this all you want and you’d still be wrong. It isn’t the same in any way, shape or form. It’s so much not the same and that is why you’re seeing criticism and not because people just don’t like Dabb. The Heroes Journey is a bad writer’s attempt at trying to write an episode like BDABR and they failed. They. Are. Not. The. Fucking. Same!
In BDABR, and Yellow Fever, both episodes had a very well explained reason within the episode for why Sam (in BDABR) and Dean (in Yellow Fever) were acting the way they were. This is why within the context of that episode, you could suspend disbelief that Dean was scared because the ghost sickness made him that way. You could accept Sam trip over the lamp because losing the rabbit’s foot made him unlucky. French Mistake, another meta episode, was funny because Sam and Dean were fish out of water. I still laugh at the scene where Dean stabs Sam with the fake knife or they have to act and they are terrible at it. It was very clever writing and everything that happened made sense within the clearly defined context of the episode. That clear definition is what made it funny and more importantly, the humour wasn’t done at either of the Winchester or audiences’ expense.
In The Heroes Journey, it wasn’t explained in the episode, it was guessed at by Dean and Garth, but they didn’t really get to the bottom of it, which left a lot of holes for me in trying to understand the “rules” of the game being played. I could give the benefit of the doubt it will get explained in an upcoming episode, but likely not as it’s Dabb and he’s a lazy fucker that doesn’t care if things like this get tied up. He just relies on people to try to make sense of things themselves which I’ve seen plenty of people rush to do. However, I don’t want meta or speculation to fill in the gaps to justify something that happens, particularly when the entire episode revolves around it. I want the writing to be decent in the first place so no one has to do that.
Overall, although not the worst episode ever, The Heroes Journey just doesn’t make sense to me. And I’ll try to break down where it works and where it fails.
From a positive perspective, I thought the settings, lighting, make-up, choice of camera angles, the filming techniques used, the editing, the casting of the key guest stars etc. were all good. I thought the episode was let down by some of the choices of the music, but in fairness I’ve felt the music choices in the later seasons of supernatural have been questionable and overpower the scene rather than compliment it, which is what music should do. Going scene by scene;
Cage Fight Scene
In addition to great setting, lighting etc. I liked the choice of camera angles and the mix of slo mo with live action. I liked the sound going between being laser focused on the fight and widening out to encompass the crowd. I thought it was used to very good effect. I thought both guest actors and the extras were great, and in contrast to the previous episode, they did the fake teeth very well and that may also have been down to the actor himself. I absolutely love piano music, but I didn’t get the use of it here, it did not work in the context of the scene (or that particular music did not work and maybe another piano piece would have). Overall though, I liked this scene and watched it a couple of times to do it justice. We’re currently at the 3 minute mark and I’ve been happily entertained without Sam or Dean in sight. I don’t need Sam and/or Dean to be in a scene to enjoy it as long as it’s well done and fits within the overall plot so great job show on this scene. 👍
It goes downhill from here.
Dean shopping/Sam cooking Scene
After sobbing at the loss of cutie werewolf guy, we move on to a scene that alternates between Dean shopping in town and Sam in the bunker cooking (I accept the head-canon that this is for Dean’s birthday dinner 😍 so Wincest for the win).
Sometimes Supernatural doesn’t do switching back and forth between scenes very well, giving the viewer whiplash. I think they did okay here.
I really liked the shot through the window of baby being ticketed, I genuinely laughed that Dean didn’t notice. The only thing wrong with this scene so far, is that Chuck damn awful music. Bad choice and is starting to annoy.
So in this scene, we see the first misfortune, and for every misfortune we see in the episode, I’m going to consider two key questions; 1) Were they hit with the stupid stick, 2) Is it believable that the misfortune has not happened before.
Misfortune #1 – baby being ticketed.
Was Dean hit by the stupid stick to make this misfortune work? No.
Is it believable that the misfortune has not happened before? I think the episode managed to show that okay so, Yes.
We go with the annoying music over to Sam. Sam’s cooking which honestly, he’s 6’ 4” of beautiful perfection already and he can cook using more than one pot? 😍. Or maybe not as the smoke alarm is going off and the water is in danger of boiling over.
We switch back to Dean at the store and I love the interaction with the clerk. Again I genuinely laughed. Dean: What’s new? Clerk (scratching his face): my psoriasis is back. Dean: Oh… Dean’s face here. 😂. He really didn’t want to know. The clerk was not following the protocols of polite conversation with people that are not strangers but not friends either. But what I love about this scene is that it shows Dean (and Sam) are know well enough in the town that they get the locals genuinely thinking they are interested in them and they really are not. This is small towns for you.
Sam uses his hands to take whatever that burning thing is out of the hot oven (I’ve seen people say a roast of some sort, but I’m thinking more likely garlic bread to go with the pasta, but I didn’t see it clearly enough on my screen to be sure). Unsurprisingly, Sam burns his hands.
Misfortune #2 – Sam burns his hands
Was Sam hit by the stupid stick to make this misfortune work? Yes, because it relies on Sam being dumb, and if you really think Sam doesn’t know to grab at the very least a dish towel instead of using his hands, you’ve got a far lower opinion of Sam than I have. This misfortune is not believable so it’s not funny.
Is it believable that the misfortune has not happened before? It’s 100% likely this misfortune hasn’t happened after Sam reached the age of 2. 🙄
Back with Dean and I think he cracked a tooth on the candy bar he was eating. He hands over a credit card which seems to repeatedly fail.
Misfortune #3 – Dean has toothache
Was he hit with the stupid stick for this misfortune? No.
Is it believable that this has not happened before. Not really, our teeth can be okay right up until they aren’t. It’s easy to crack a failing tooth on a hard piece of candy. What makes this scene funny for me though is the fact that despite the pain Dean’s obviously in, he still tries to eat the candy bar. That was funny and I have no issue with this scene. But we’ll come back to the teeth thing later.
Back with Sam who is so fucking dumb and obviously learned nothing from touching hot metal only seconds before… because he once again touches hot metal and drops the pasta pot on the floor, Dean’s birthday pasta dinner is now in ruins. Ha ha, how I laughed and laughed at this scene… not really.
Misfortune #4 – Sam picks up metal pot and burns himself again
Does it rely on Sam being hit with the stupid stick? Yes, it’s not funny.
Is it believable this hasn’t happened before? I’ve covered this, Sam isn’t stupid show!
Back with Dean, and the credit card gets declined and Dean’s groceries get taken away, including his beer and partially eaten candy bar.
Misfortune #5 – credit card declined
Does this misfortune rely on Dean being hit with the stupid stick? No, it’s an external factor, and believable.
Is it believable that the misfortune has not happened before? Yes, The episode covers this in conversation between Sam and Dean, this has not happened before and should not have happened.
Dean leaves the store and almost gets run over by a skateboarder (not slapped by stupid stick but not convinced something similar hasn’t happened before, they kept bumping into that girl in the street in mystery spot and I’m sure there’s other instances if I bothered to go looking). Dean’s reaction when he discovers baby has been ticketed though. Funny 😂
Back with Sam and he’s still in the kitchen looking at the ruined pasta when Dean returns, and we’ll “suspend disbelief” that time works in that way. Anyway, show is immediately forgiven as I get not one, but two SAMMEH’s to placate me. This show is awesome (not really).
Sam runs to Dean, because they’ve probably been separated all of twenty minutes by this point (less if Dean teleported both there and back). Sam trips and the jury’s out on this one.
Misfortune #6 – Sam tripping
Does it rely on Sam being slapped with the stupid stick? Somewhat, he’s not in control of his limbs and this is verging into not believable territory for me. I’ve seen someone else say his grace has been taken, but let’s look at the second question
Is it believable that the misfortune has not happened before? No, Sam has tripped before. He broke his wrist in season 2 tripping while running ffs. He broke his arm as a kid jumping off of something. If I could be bothered, I’d go looking for other instances – e.g. off the top of my head he wasn’t very stable on his feet when they came through the portal to the AU world. So this misfortune doesn’t work for me in what they are trying to show within the episode.
Anyway, Dean explains about the parking ticket, and it’s clear Sam’s warned him about parking there so Dean’s lucky not to have been ticketed before now. He tells Sam that the fake credit card Charlie hacked for them got declined. (I’m presuming Charlie as opposed to her AU doppelgänger). I like the explanation of how they’ve been getting money as I know some people always wondered, and unlike Dabb attempting to explain other things badly *cough* Sam hating Halloween *cough*, he doesn’t really fuck this one up. As an aside, I don’t mind Charlie is a character that has computer skills, I do mind that Sam’s own hacking skills were watered down needlessly and that took away one of Sam’s core skills. Anyway, before I get too bitter, we’ll move on…
Sam sneezes and I think using his sleeve is such a Jared thing to do, rather than sam. It’s cute though, I’ll let it slide.
Misfortune #7 – Sam gets ill
Does Sam being sick rely on him being slapped with the stupid stick? No
Is it believable that it has not happened before? No, I just don’t buy he’s never been sick and don’t think this is backed up in the show. In fact in 8.21, The Great Escapist, Dean brings a trials sick Sam food and says: “Alright, here we go. John Winchester's famous cure-all kitchen sink stew. There you go. Enough cayenne pepper in there to burn your lips off, just like Dad used to make.” Why would John Winchester have a cure all stew if they are never Ill from normal human things (I’m aware trials sick Sam isn’t a normal illness doesn’t count). But no, I don’t believe they were never sick before now.
In summary of all of this, I think the issues that happened to Dean work reasonably well. They are factors that don’t require Dean to forget basic things like hot metal = burny fingers. My two year old understood this and Sam can’t? Get the fuck out of here with that nonsense. So Sam’s misfortunes don’t work for me as they rely on Sam being a complete dumbass or me suspending belief that the Winchesters have never had an injury or been ill when I’ve watched the show and seen that they both have. It just illustrates what in theory could have been a good concept, but it’s poorly executed through lazy writing and poor characterisation. In short, Dabb at his finest. He wants something to happen and doesn’t care about the character to make it happen.
Anyway, Garth’s call saves me and you from further ranting, and he needs their help, and given he’s a werewolf, I think it’s safe to say that he’s our connection to the opening scene so nice tie in.
Driving to Garth’s Scene
On the drive to Garth’s, we get a broment in the car, Dean speculates they are cursed, Sam thinks they are just having a bad day, and from what I’ve seen so far, I agree with Sam. But Dean doesn’t think any of this is normal. Sam continues to sneeze while the piano music continues to annoy intermittently.
Cass mention! Thank fuck. I thought we were going to get through one episode without the obligatory mention of him off doing something completely useless that we don’t care about, but no, got to keep his psychotic fans happy at the expense of the rest of the audience that don’t give a fuck and are wondering what happened to their beautiful, beautiful show and why that weird guy in the trenchcoat keeps getting mentioned these days. 🙄
Sam’s still not convinced they aren’t dealing with normal things, but baby takes that moment to break down. I love Dean talking to baby here. Been there Dean, out in the middle of the arse end of nowhere, in the middle of the night and you break down. I like this scene.
Misfortune #8 – baby breaking down
Does baby breaking down rely on Dean being slapped with the stupid stick? No.
Is it believable that it hasn’t happened before? I can believe that baby breaking down is unusual as Dean has been shown to keep her in tip top condition with regular maintenance. I even remember the quote from John way back in season 1 that he wouldn’t have given Dean the car if he wasn’t going to take care of her, so Dean looks after that car. But baby breaking down never happened before? Not believable, I remember Dean teaching Sam car maintenance in an episode in season 3 and he certainly seemed to be repairing baby at the side of the road, so it’s not a believable misfortune for me.
Mechanic!Dean who built baby up from scratch in early season 2, doesn’t even take a look under the hood? They just start walking and leave her. I have safety concerns if nothing else. Do you guys not have hazard lights? Piano music is still annoying.
At Garth’s house Scene
The boys arrive at Garth’s house and yeah, Garth is friend/family, so close in fact that they don’t even know that Garth had more kids? I mean if they are selling friends/family don’t end in blood narrative, surely this would have made it on to Sam’s hunter newsletter? It’s just… not believable they wouldn’t already know this, but again sums up the writing. Friends when they want them to be, never mentioned in between times.
I think the bit where Garth tells Sam he named the kid after him is funny because of Sam’s reaction, but then we get:
Dean: that means this one must be…
Garth: …Castiel
I’m supposed to laugh right? Har de har. 🙄 This line is funny only if you don’t bother to look beneath the surface. It’s a cheap joke at the expense of character I personally don’t see a character like Garth doing something like this and he would know how shitty it was to do that. I also want to point out that this is the second instance - so far - that if Castiel had been killed off when he should have been, these 2 pandering references and jokes at Dean’s expense wouldn’t have been in the script. Just saying; a lot of the reason for poor writing is inserting the waste of space into the narrative to placate his fans, so he not only ruins the scenes he’s in, he ruins a scene even when he isn’t in it. Stop. The. Fucking. Pandering!
Oh cutie werewolf is okay. I’m so glad. I like the concept of this episode, bringing down a monster fight club. And as I mentioned before in another post, having Sam and Dean forced to take part in that fight club? Yeah, that would have been awesome. Sign me the fuck up for that episode. Why didn’t they write that?
We leave sleeping beauty after Dean has cracked his tooth yet again on more food. Sam’s still sneezing, but Garth’s wife, Bess, has something to help.
Meanwhile, Garth talks to Dean about how happy he is, I’m hoping that we’re seeing Garth in a normal and happy life as a reminder to the Winchesters that while it works for some people, it’s not something they want anymore. They are happy with the way things are. Supernatural has been great for breaking the barriers that not everyone wants a romantic life partner, not everyone wants children and I’ve applauded their stance. To fuck that up now, after 15 seasons, and force the cheesy narrative that “everybody needs a partner and 2.4 kids in order to be happy”, I’ll be seriously pissed.
I’m okay that Garth was studying to be a dentist before becoming a hunter and finished his degree when he semi retired. I don’t think it’s out of the blue and unrealistic, unlike making Charlie a super duper hunter on the basis of reading books or Claire the best hunter eva without any real training. I also think from memory of Madison etc. that werewolves are naturally stronger than humans, so in theory Garth could manhandle Dean in the way he did. However, I’d caution that it isn’t good dental practice to force your patients to have surgery against their will.
We go between Sam and Dean again and I’m still not getting whiplash so it’s okay. Sam’s been given a secret cure for his cold which he downs in one. Turns out the main ingredient was cayenne. The little girl watches Sam in pain: “Mummy, the giant’s crying”. I’ll let this one slide. I don’t get references to “giant” and Sasquatch, he’s tall but not extremely so imo.
Sam licking his sleeve – which he sneezed all over earlier - I’m dying. 😂
Dean suddenly has 17 cavities? Again, this is played for the joke, and I’m not a dentist, but his teeth looked perfectly fine on the bottom row and we only have 28 teeth to start with, unless the wisdom teeth come in okay. In the context of the episode, is this believable? For me, no. They should just have stuck with a couple of cavities and there’s no way Dean (and Sam) have the teeth they do without visiting a dentist regularly. I’m really not buying that the Winchesters are not normal people with normal people problems. Dabb completely failed to sell this as realistic to me. I’m not interested in the premise either. It’s dumb and has the potential to ruin the concept of the entire show, which Dabb is more than capable of being incompetent enough to do.
Is gas still allowed? Wow, no, fuck that, fully sedate me. Thank you.
“Big Sam is okay” says big Sam as he’s rolling about the floor still in pain. Still funny.
Okay, Dean’s being put to sleep with the gas and wait, what?! I had to double check google to confirm that this is not realistic. I may not be a dentist, but I know Nitrous oxide does not knock you out or put you to sleep – which is the whole point of having it as opposed to sedation. You remain conscious and responsive at all times and you do not dream. Only sedation knocks you out (which I’ve had) and only rarely has a patient said they dreamed while under sedation (I’ve had it a few times and never once dreamed, you go to sleep and wake up and it’s as if you’ve lost time, it feels like no time has passed between going to sleep and waking up). But why bother doing research when you can still just collect your pay check, quality be damned! Right? Dabb wanted Dean to have a weird dream sequence and a weird dream sequence is what he was going to have! And fuck anyone that expects a writer to do some god damn fucking research! And don't come back at me because Kripke was as much an idiot with him not knowing how long you go to college for.
Realism aside, I love the setting, I love the black and white, I love the lighting, I love that Jensen (and DJ) got the routine because this could have been a complete wirework part deux fiasco. I love that Jensen seems to be able to rise to anything thrown at him. I love his look at the end. Honestly, he is one sexy man. But… at the end of the day, I don’t think this scene worked for me. Would I rather have had a scene of Sam or Dean forced to fight monsters in the cage fight, yes please, sign me the fuck up. But Jensen did a great job with what he was asked to do so I can’t criticise him. I will criticise that they expected only 2 rehearsals to be enough and as I said before, this answers the wirework fiasco where actors train for months if wirework is involved.
One tap dance later and we’re back with Garth, and Dean’s mouth and face here. 😂
Garth twigs there’s something wrong and asks who they pissed off.
Sam shrugs: God
Okay, I do like when Garth asks if Sam and Dean are the heroes of the story, what does that make him, supporting character or special guest star? I use the term “side character” Garth for your future reference. Garth thinks for the first time in their lives that they are having “normal” people problems and I really, really, really do not buy that for several reasons.
Firstly, this whole episode relies on the premise that the Winchesters are not normal people who deal with normal problems, and that… just isn’t true. Sam’s broken bones at least 3 times, Dean’s broken his leg at least once, I don’t believe they’ve never been ill before and with the teeth they have, I don’t believe they don’t regularly visit a dentist. Going along with that premise just doesn’t work for me and means the episode and what happens within it was flawed from the start and I can’t suspend my disbelief and enjoy it because of the poor job they did setting this up. Sorry.
Secondly, I really, really, really don’t like the implication of what they are trying to say with this. Basically, the reason the Winchesters have been able to do what they’ve done is solely because of Chuck? They are able to fight only because of Chuck and not the years of practice and practical application in fighting monsters since before they reached double digits, Is that really the trash dumpster fire you’re trying to sell me here? Because I ain’t buying. That sounds like a terrible show that I’d be a little pissed at investing 15 years of my life watching.
Anyway, Cutie pie wakes up. Sam’s puppy dog eyes fail with him. This is not a drill, the puppy eyes fail, which get the fuck out, Sam is cute. He looks devastated. Bess is a stand in for Sam girls at this point, digging her fingernails into the werewolf formely known as cutie’s injury. Yeah, dickhead, you don’t fuck with Sam Winchester and not have us come after you. Anyway, Bess gets the location of the monster fight club and Sam and Dean are on the road.
Driving to fight club Scene
Love the shots of baby in this episode, and it’s clear that Dean at least still knows how to fix baby, so it’s only Sam that’s been made to look a twat in this episode. Good to know he’s not deserving of them putting any effort in. I suppose I should be grateful he’s not been knocked unconscious yet (yes, sometimes my bitter Sam girl can’t help but rise up in outrage).
Dean and Sam drive up to where the cage fights take place. This music is better. What the fuck Jensen, your Texan is showing in this scene. I can barely understand you. I like how Sam wants to prepare for anything when they get inside and Dean once again grabs the grenade launcher.
Dean eating sloppily, that never gets old, except when it does because Dean never ate sloppily before Tall Tales and its only funny in Tall Tales, because it’s Sam’s exaggeration of him.🙄
Inside Fight club Scene
Ah Sam’s been slapped with the stupid stick again. Ha ha. Seriously? I’m not even going to cover this, see misfortune #6 🙄
Dean’s lactose intolerant now, or he may just have overeaten on the cheese sandwiches. Since this isn’t making Dean incompetent, I can believe this is an external influence. I can also believe that Dean rarely, if ever vomits from food so it’s a believable misfortune.
I spoke too soon on Sam being knocked unconscious. 🙄 I think the thud we hear when Dean is throwing up in the toilet is Sam being knocked out. I’d say it serves them right as the two have never looked less like hunters, hollering all over the place, not being quiet and not being weapons ready. Is this incompetence more of Chuck’s “influence”? Really? I’m not buying this is logical. It’s stupid and not believable and I’m getting 😡
Now we have the funniest line of this episode, if not the entire series. Sam: I can’t believe they got the drop on me.” Considering Samsel in distress gets knocked out fairly frequently, someone is deliberately taking the piss with this line.
I like the scene between the brothers and the owner of the fight ring. Dean (to the shifter): Shifter? So you chose that face?! I can’t. 😂. This is a funny line, ditch the Cass pandering bull and come up with lines like this.
I absolutely love the promo scenes for the upcoming fights and the use of their mug shots for the Winchesters. Monday Monster Mayhem. This is my new show. Get me 22 episodes, stat!
How stupid are they separating the brothers into different cages? Don’t they know that just pisses them off? Saving grace is they can see each other so neither is panicking just yet.
Dean finds something to try to pick the lock. He can’t do it and it’s over to Sam who… also can’t do it. And this is where I disconnect again. Sam and Dean were trained, picking a lock for them isn’t “luck”, it’s nothing to do with reduced to being “normal”. Picking a lock for them is the equivalent of driving a car for anyone else,. It’s a skill that once learned, shouldn’t be something difficult for them, it’s inherent within them. But Dean broke a nail trying, ha ha 🙄
Was that speech supposed to be inspiring, because it was pretty bad. 😬 I’m not even going to cover it. We’ve heard a variation of it alternating between Sam and Dean every episode (depending on whose turn it is to lose faith this week) and it’s getting boring.
No surprise to learn that Dabb was trolling with the shirts off comment. Shocker. When the shifter goes to get Sam and Dean from their cages for their upcoming fight with a vamp, they’ve disappeared. We rewind to find out how Sam and Dean achieved their great escape. Once again, I like how this scene is shot. I also like the music most of the time in this scene. I like Dean saying “He’s so strong” (about Garth) but no Hellers, he’s still not bi.
Contrary to what some people think, I’m not averse to the Winchesters having help. They’ve had help throughout the series. Bobby in Yellow Fever came to the rescue. Ellen and Jo helped in the hellhound episode (and paid with their lives) so no issue. My two caveats are: a) is it feasible for the helper to have those skills and b) were the boys dumbed down to make the helper look good. I think feasibly Garth has the skills for sure, but the Winchesters were slapped with the stupid stick in not being able to pick a lock so it’s another fail for me.
Okay, did Garth just blow up all the monsters, including ones that may have been there against their will or like his wife’s cousin, were just trying to make some money? I mean were they really doing any harm, monsters fighting monsters? If they are watching each other and killing each other, and therefore not killing humans then isn’t that a good thing?
Oh, looks like I’m getting my fight scene! Bring it. Wait, what is with this fucking music in this scene, is this a cartoon? Dean apparently can still fight, he scores a direct hit in the vamps balls. Sadly, it makes no difference because for some reason the vamp has balls of steel and Dean gets kicked right back in his and he’s out.
It’s Sammy’s turn and unfortunately, Sam was slapped again with the stupid stick this episode, he’s swinging and missing and that boy has never had a single sparring session in his life and he gets punched in the face. Should have complained less and listened to John more Sammy, you might even have been able to fight by now.
I’ve no idea what Dean is doing now, he’s finally been slapped with the stupid stick – Yay? I guess? Never seen him do this stupid move before and I pray to Chuck and all the deities that I never have to be forced to see it again because what the actual fuck are they going with here? No seriously? It’s not remotely funny, it’s a caricature.
Thankfully he’s head-butted before I have to endure more, and rooting for the monster of the week is a new one on me, but here we are.
Sam “I haven’t been in training from a very young age” Winchester is back up. He goes for a kick and is flipped over. Trying not to be distracted by the padabooty writhing on the floor again this episode – and damn you Dabb for knowing what I like - Dean’s back up. It makes a change for Dean to be getting strangled, I’ll give them that. I also like how he tries to tap out and the vamp just allows it. It’s dumb, but actually funny so it gets a pass.
Oh thank goodness, Garth to the rescue… again, because I cannot with how terrible this entire scene was. Is it believable that the Winchesters who trained for years just can’t fight any more and that’s part of the “bad luck”? Fuck no, it’s insulting I had to watch this nonsense.
Back at Garths Scene
Dean (holding one baby): “This Cass keeps looking at me weird.” Sam (holding the other baby): “so kind of like the real Cass”. Another pandering line that is unnecessary. If only Cass had stayed dead we wouldn’t have to endure these forced unfunny lines 😔
Garth suggests they go to a place in Alaska he’s heard about that might help with their “bad luck”.
Love the use of Werewolves of London, decent music for a change. Garth dancing with Bess is sweet. I’m not sure by Sam’s look whether he’s wishful thinking. I didn’t get that impression at all through the episode until now. I really hope not. Dean definitely doesn’t seem interested in having normal.
There’s a broment in the car at the end talking about normal and that they are not normal.
In terms of revolving side characters, Garth’s character is one I can take or leave. If his character had been ruined, it wouldn’t bother me as much as what they did with Gabriel. However, they didn’t ruin his character and I’m glad he’s a hunter that got a happy ending.
In summary, my annoyance with parts of the episode have nothing to do with it being a Dabb episode and everything to do with it being an interesting premise, once again poorly executed due to lack of talent. I’ll stick with BDABR, Yellow Fever and French Mistake.
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Bolt from the Blue - Re-Review #42
“Isn’t that something else?”
Yes, because when has a giant, blue laser in the sky transmitting solar energy down to Earth ever been a good idea in the world of Thunderbirds Are Go? Oh no, nobody panic, this is a completely innocent piece of machinery.
Look at Parker getting all technical.
“Mr Kinnear!”
This poor man just can’t catch a break can he? He finally came to his senses and left behind the waste of space that is Fischler - honestly I wouldn’t have stayed working for that man as long as this guy did - only to end up with what seems like his sister?
And after all this, he ends up saying;
“This still beats working at Fischler Industries!”
That, can only tell us what an absolutely terrible employer Fischler was. Considering we don’t see him again I’m wondering if the GDF finally did something about him...
“Don’t you worry your pretty little head about that. We have some... safety overrides to make sure nothing could possibly go wrong.”
And you were saying? Honestly, this show has jinxes everywhere.
Did Miss Edmunds remind anyone else of another familiar face that makes your skin crawl? I’ll leave you a hint.
So, I love this episode. It might partially be because there’s a panda in it - and yes, I work with pandas - but there are other reasons too and I’m sure we’ll get to them.
Firstly let us address the plane struck by ‘lightning’.
“The plane’s gilding but losing altitude. There are four in need of evacuation. Two pilots, one child.”
“That’s only three. Who’s the fourth?”
“Brains, you want to tell them?”
“It’s transporting a rare giant panda in the cargo bay.”
“Ok, four to save, one’s a panda.”
Scott - honestly the way he says that line gets me every time!
“Gordon can go with Virgil and help with the evacuation.”
“Yes! I’ve always wanted to see a giant panda up close!”
“That’s not likely to happen.”
“You’re crushing my dreams, Brains!”
“But it’s in a sealed, environmentally controlled container-”
“La la la la la - I can’t hear you!”
Honestly, weren’t Gordon and EOS made for each other? They could encourage each other to be like children forever.
And so now we’ve got to another of those reasons I mentioned - it’s Gordon’s facial expressions (throughout the whole episode). So, this is officially the world’s most disappointed face.
“They appear to be highly charged plasma bolts.”
Hoorah for that... Just what we need. Well, we’ve never had a rescue like it, that’s for sure.
“Can’t you see I’m in the middle of a pre-sentation?”
“Perhaps you should see what he wants.”
“Oh I’m sure it can wait. The safety commission will shut us down without your approval. So I want to make sure you approve.”
Yeah... definitely a relation to Fischler.
Brains, John already got what they were without you.
"A solar collector.”
Shall we send Thunderbird Three to investigate?”
“We may not have to. Lady Penelope’s already on board.”
“John, to what do I owe the pleasure?”
Not sure it’s a pleasure to nearly be torn apart by plasma bolts, but hey.
“Hang on Captain, we’ll get you out of there.”
I think this is a speak too soon moment.
“We’re about to go critical.”
“Does that mean ka-bloom then?”
“ka-bloom”, I love that, it’s very Parker.
“Surely you have a way to reset something like this?”
“I’m a sales director, not an engineer! Did I mention we have three delightful colours to chose from?”
No you didn’t until now, and please don’t mention it again. I think the colour of the episode is set at blue anyway.
This episode really does get off to a dramatic run.
“Thunderbird One’s been hit!”
“Same here! We’re all going down!”
“No one panic! That bolt must have overloaded our circuit breakers. We’ll try rebooting.”
I love how Scott is completely in control here. I mean, it’s believable considering that TOS always made him out to be a honoured pilot. We saw him save Anderbad City with some pretty good flying to in ‘Fight or Flight’. Also, as the eldest we would expect him to have more experience and considering he’s taking over as leader from their dad, you would have expected him to have a pretty level head. This is a complete change however to his reactions in ‘Up from the Depths’ and a little in ‘Heavy Metal’ where he was reliant on others to help him fix his own ship and flight pattern. Either we’re meant to see that he learnt from these events, or that these are anomalies in the writing process.
“Gordon, flip the switch.”
“No problem, just like when your hairdryer blows a fuse at Tracy Island.”
“What? What do you mean my hairdryer!”
Another nice little TOS reference here - in ‘Operation Crash Dive’, Gordon saves Fireflash by treating it like fixing a fuse before he later fixes the TV on Tracy Island, claiming the same.
“Gordon has flight control. Try to keep us in the air!”
“Relax, if more plasma bolts hit, I’ll use your hairdryer trick again.”
“One time. One time that happened!”
Admittance is still admittance, Virgil. I love how Gordon can get things out of people by just being persistently annoying.
Just taking some air, ey, Virgil? Big brother to the rescue. I sense Scott likes doing that.
“Scott... little help!”
“I’m jetting down now. Try not to move.”
“Ready, step!”
“Got it! Thanks for the boost.”
“Any time.”
In fairness, I think this scene is a little piece of genius and it’s another scene that contributes towards my love of this episode. So, here come the reasons;
1. I think it would take an awful lot for Virgil to ask for help, even from his brothers. Even in ‘Skyhook’ and ‘Earthbreaker’ when Thunderbird Two was going down, he didn’t ask for help. He accepted it yes, but he didn’t actually ask for anyone to come and save him.
2. So, accidentally, Virgil ended up in danger of either falling into the ocean, or worse, being hit my a plasma beam. As a result of that, Scott’s comes to his rescue. Now this, puts Scott in danger too, because if either of them took a direct hit there would be bad things. But this isn’t even thought about or discussed, which totally fits in character (especially for these two). The level of reaction here is what matters, and the danger they throw themselves into for each other will be thought about later.
3. The worry and relief. You can tell they have shared worries about this and the dialogue projects this so, so well. In those five lines is everything we need to know about their emotional states.
4. It’s not often these boys have to rescue each other, but when they do (like with Alan&John in ‘EOS’, the instant response seems to be to cover up the fear; “Thanks Alan, I was really sweating there at the end.” “I noticed.” And this dialogue is doing the same thing. The clock is ticking, the situation is precarious and yet what we get is the use of simple words as part of a conversation meaning something completely different. The power of words is transformative, and whenever they can be used with double meanings, they carry so much more strength. People in real life often never say things as they mean. It’s like with death - we don’t often use the word in conversation, we’ll refer to it as something else, and this is exactly what the Tracy boys do - they face danger head on, and they skirt around the less nice possibilities, whilst knowing what they are potentially confronting the whole time, just without saying it. Because we all know once things are said, they are hard to take back.
5. Childlike brotherhood. The nature of this scenes very much takes me back to imagining a younger Scott and Virgil helping each other out with the simplest of things like learning to ride a bike. There’s a very clear, well-built, brotherly relationship shown in this scene, and that comes across so well, in the dialogue that could refer to nearly any other situation, than hanging for your life from a doomed plane only miles above the ocean with plasma bolts trying to hit you.
So, who was the mastermind behind this excellent scene? Elly Brewer is mainly known for writing episodes for the Tracy Beaker series’, which is a completely different kettle of fish to something like Thunderbirds Are Go. She wrote ‘Lost Kingdom’ which was another fantastic episode, and this is (unfortunately) the only other script she wrote for this series. I think this is an absolute shame as her handle on the brother’s was perfect, and her use of dialogue was perfectly balanced out to disguise/contain other feelings whilst commenting on the action. A someone who also has ambitions to be a writer, she is a real example of how to write character interaction. I believed every inch of this script - not only for this scene, but for every scene and every character - and okay, the acting brought it to life, but a good script often allows for good acting, so they come as a pair most of the time.
I’ve already mentioned above my feelings regarding Scott in this episode (who is portrayed again, as a really strong pilot, just like how Dan Berlinka wrote him in ‘Fight or Flight’.) I’m not trying to slate or show anyone up here, but I feel like compared to Ben Townsend, Brewer and Berlinka had a much better handle on the character of Scott Tracy. Don’t mistake me here, Townsend has written some amazing scripts for Thunderbirds Are Go - ‘Heavy Metal’, ‘Up from the Depths’, ‘Brains Vs. Brawn’ (and more I won’t list them all) - but interestingly two of the above I’ve mentioned, are also the two episodes where I felt the discrepancies with Scott’s skills as a pilot creeping in. I love both episodes for their content and some perfect moments, but it definitely feels like Townsend is uncomfortable or at conflict writing for Scott (in places, because he did give us some amazing moments like Scott&Ned, but I think there are definitely points where I question his decisions, especially against strong episodes like this and ‘Fight or Flight’ which put Scott very much in the driving seat). ‘Inferno’ -which I think is one of the best scripts written for this series, with it’s realism and excellent interactions - is also one of Townsend’s works for this series and (apart from maybe ‘Up from the Depths’) is what I consider to be his best work. It is interesting that Scott does not appear here though.
Remember that this is all only my opinion, and as always, I’m more than happy for you to disagree with me. That’s the whole point of discussions, and please feel free to discuss it (I will reply, although it might be at some point later in the week). Dropping it to my ask box may be easier than in the comments if you do with to have a full length discussion.
“Virgil, we’re almost at the water!”
“Release the plane and pull out. Repeat, pull out!”
Some of that quick thinking made towards an awesome rescue. I mean, the plane went down, but really who cares about that? There was nothing in it, and a plane can be rebuilt.
“Sorry Brains.”
“For what?”
“It’s time for you to go.”
Lady Penelope has way better aim than I do!
“Careful Parker, the walls are burning up!”
“You don’t ‘ave to tell me twice. hOh boy, hit’s ‘ot hin ‘ere. Blast! Missed.”
“Go on, Parker! I’ve got you!”
“Much hobliged, M’Lady.”
Parker is just a grade one badass. Look at him go! And Parker and Lady Penelope are an absolute perfect duo. Their teamwork is always spot on and their relationship is brilliantly explored in scenes like this. Lady Penelope has always been a considerate character, but high society (in the past at least) have always been assumed to have had a lack of care for those below them (I’m sure there were those who did, but history just records the majority). Lady Penelope has such care for Parker - probably as much as he has for her - and scenes like this are perfect for showing exactly what makes their partnership work. It’s very give and take, even when it seemed like Parker is just driving her around. She’s always got his back and it was lovely to have another scene showing that off.
Still think it’s “a perfect take your daughter to work day”? They definitely picked a day!
“Woah, I’m in Thunderbird Two!”
“The panda’s doing just fine. I heard him munching on bamboo.”
“Aww!”
Look at that thinking face of love and affection.
“Thank you for saving him.”
“You’re welcome. We love having satisfied customers.”
“Yeah, furry or otherwise.”
“Mmm-hmm.”
“Oh...”
“Thank you.”
“Can I go see Mr Panda now?”
“I think he’ll like you.”
“Really?!”
And this is the world’s happiest face! Gordon has achieved his dream. Having seen pandas myself, I can completely understand why it was a dream of his. Also, the Gordon and Virgil interaction (in this whole episode, but especially here where words aren’t even needed) is just absolute perfection!
And now to tie up some loose ends;
“I may lose my job over this, but I am not gonna lose my life!”
I think you might have lost that anyway. I mean, I think the GDF are gonna be putting her on trial for this.
“Oh now, isn’t that sweet! I didn’t expect a welcome back committee!”
“She realises that we’re arresting her, doesn’t she?”
“I don’t know.”
Don’t worry mate, I don’t think any of us would really know how to deal with her. She’s positively crazy.
See what I did there? Her annoying talking has rubbed off on me!
#thunderbirds are go#Darkestwolfx#Re-Review series#Bolt from the Blue#Scott tracy#john tracy#virgil tracy#gordon tracy#alan tracy#eos#Grandma tracy#brains#MAX#Lady Penelope#Parker#Giant Panda#series 2#ITV#citv#ir#international rescue#tracy island
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Hi
This is my first fan fiction in a while so it might be a little rough but I’m very excited about it. I’ll be posting it here as well as on any other platform I can. Feel free to leave any constructive criticism you may have
Also I don’t have a title yet so if you have any ideas leave that too
Oh and this is an MCU fanfic. Starts during Age of Ultron
Chapter 1
The cold wind of Sokovia stung as the team road through the forest. Isa sat next to Nat as she drove the army-grade jeep, with Clint up top firing arrows left and right. Isa was eager to help, but this being her first mission made her feel a bit apprehensive. She didn’t want to get in anyone’s way.
The banter over their earpieces eased her worries and made her grin. It almost made her forget the danger she had willingly placed herself in, not to mention the PTSD episode she would most definitely have on the way home. This Hydra base was so similar to the one Isa had been rescued from almost two years ago. It had taken a lot of work to get her to where she was now. Over a year of deprogramming therapy to unlearn everything Hydra had taught her, and months of training with the team before they would let her step foot in the field. It somehow felt right that her first real mission would be to take down a Hydra base. She knew the real prize would be Loki’s scepter, which they were sure was hidden within, but just knowing the base would be gone was enough to satisfy Isa.
As they traveled deeper into the forest, and consequently closer to the base, the fighting got more intense, causing the trio to abandon the vehicle and continue fighting on foot.
“Isa, feel free to join in anytime,” Nat called out while engaged with a soldier. Isa’s heart pounded. What if she wasn’t ready, what if she wasn’t good enough for this.
“Come on you got this, we’ve seen what you can do,” Cap’s voice rang in her earpiece. Isa took a deep breath and stretched her hands in front of her. She concentrated on the ground beneath them. Her nerves tingled and she knew she had its attention. When she exhaled, the forest floor rippled in front of her, like a wave. It threw the guards and destroyed their towers, but also knocked Cap off his bike and brought Nat and Clint to their knees.
“Sorry,” Isa said sheepishly, recoiling her fingers and tossing her long dark hair out of her eyes.
“No that was great, just, next time try to only get the bad guys?” Cap suggested
“Yeah, for sure.” Isa jogged to keep up with the rest of them. To her left, she watched horrified as Clint was hit with a blast on his side. A second later something flew past her. She hadn’t seen it coming or going, but she felt the gust it left behind. She turned to follow it, but saw nothing.
“Clint’s down!” Nat called as she rushed to his side. Isa ran to join her.
“Go with Stark,” Nat instructed. “You can do this.” Isa nodded, but her eyes were wide with fear and self-doubt. She turned toward the base, which had now been disarmed and was completely open to them. Tony flew in through a window and Isa conjured a wind beneath her that lifted her up to the same window. She stayed hovering beneath it until she was given the all-clear. Once inside the base, Tony left his suit to stay guard while he and Isa wandered the corridors in search of the scepter.
“How are you holding up?” Tony asked, without turning around.
“Fine,” Isa said, trying to keep her voice steady. She knew they sent her inside as a test to see if she could really handle this, but it was so hard to keep the flashbacks at bay.
“It’s okay, I’m going to do the heavy lifting here. I just need you to have my back. Keep breathing,” Tony instructed. A smile pulled at the corners of her mouth. She liked when Tony showed his soft side. It helped ground her and keep her focused on the job at hand. Isa followed Tony through a secret door (which he was very excited about) and into a large room. In the room was something that looked like an incredibly large mechanical fish. Isa recognized it from the alien attack on New York City a few years ago.
“Isa, stay by the door,” Tony said. He had his eyes fixed on the prize; Loki’s Scepter.
Isa did as she was told, but the sight of the scepter had her in almost a trance. Something about it drew her in and she couldn’t breakaway.
A soft noise broke her focus and Isa turned to face the intruder. But all she was greeted with was red, followed by the most empty feeling she had ever felt. She turned, but nothing was there. Absolute nothingness. Her breath caught in her throat as she tried to call out, but she was too paralyzed by fear to make a sound. Isa dropped to her knees, held her head in her hands, and sobbed.
#mcu#mcu fic#mcu fandom#wanda maximoff#tony stark#steve rogers#clint barton#natasha romanov#wandavision#bruce banner#the avengers#avenger fanfiction#fanfiction#mcu fanfiction
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I Won’t Be Your Donkeyskin - A Banana Fish WIP
So about a 100 years ago I was talking with my friend @freakyfeline about fairytale AUs and we were laughing about how Yue Lung would be just the bitchiest princess. I originally imagined a Donkeyskin story with a Banana Fish spin, but it ended up being a Donkeyskin-inspired Canon Divergence - Yue Lung runs from his family and ends up hiding with Sing’s family, disguised as a girl. This is the only finished scene I ever wrote for it, and I quite like it.
--
Yue Lung thought back to the cashier’s words. Everyone’s heard by now. The prettiest hair I’ve ever seen. Boys will be fighting over you in a few years. He toyed with a strand, deep in irritated thought. Staying this close to the clan’s area of influence was a lot riskier than he liked, but it was the best he could manage for now. Biting his lip, he cursed that he hadn’t known how important identification documents were in the outside world. Who would’ve thought he couldn’t be a real person without some piece of paper?
Fussing with a strand of hair, he tried to weigh his options – ideally he would find a place on the other side of the country, even abroad. Canada, at least, but preferably Asia, maybe Mongolia – not Hong Kong, where the Lees were a considerable presence. But he had no money, and he could only get so far walking. And it was still cold enough to freeze to death in the night without even getting out of New York City first. Stealing would solve a part of that problem, but where could he find enough money? Pickpocketing might net him some loose change and maybe a few phones he’d need to sell for cheap, saving up that way would take too much time, and he was likely he’d get caught sooner rather than later anyway, since he had zero practice. The house was a no-go as well, Mrs. Sun didn’t keep a lot of money in the house, partly because they didn’t have much to save to begin with, and Yue Lung wasn’t rotten enough to steal from his saviors anyway. Maybe if they were filthy rich, and their finances wouldn’t be affected by a few thousand dollars going missing, but it still wouldn’t leave a good taste in his mouth.There was always the option of finding work, but who would hire a 11-year-old, who apparently didn’t exist because he had no ID? He could hardly ask Mrs. Sun money for helping around the house. He didn’t know how to do anything, except grow plants. He could have maybe sold medicinal herbs and such, had he a place to grow them and the knowledge how to use them – his education hadn’t yet included much but the most basic poisons. He also had a lot to learn about acupuncture, too. What else was there? If he couldn’t steal, and he couldn’t work, what else was left? Twisting and twirling the strand, twitching his foot, gnawing his teeth, there had to be something he could do! Just anything to run, or keep hiding, think! Think! Considering how much Mrs. Sun was gossiping about her newest “daughter” it was safe to assume Yue Lung’s brothers would soon hear about this mysterious girl who suddenly appeared out of nowhere, running from an abusive family, who just so happened to bear the name of the former patriarch’s deceased concubine! Fuck, what a fucking idiot a person can be! Using his mom’s name! Yue Lung might not have been able to do anything about Mrs. Sun’s benign airheadedness but he should’ve known better than be self-sabotaging dumbass! Okay, okay, what’s done is done, what he needed now was damage control. So, to keep running Yue Lung needed money, and he couldn’t get it yet. Which left hiding. Mrs. Sun was his saftest bet for now, and however talkative she might have been, Yue Lung was dependent on her goodwill and criticizing her would hardly endear Yue Lung to her. It had to be accepted that Dai Yu would be a known face around town, though it would be nice if it would attract less attention. Wasn’t there something he could do about that? He couldn’t change his face, apart from scarring it, and that would only make him more noticeable. It would take several years before he could grow a moustache or a beard, and with his genes it was likely to be a bust anyway. Unless he wanted to make a beard toupee out of his hair, and what would look more natural on a preteen than a hairbeard? One that was tangled to death from nervous fiddling. The strand around his fingers was getting knotted to the point of needing scissors to be solved. Wasn’t there anything Yue Lung could do to stay hidden? The strand twirled, frayed and split. ...The hair had to go. It was too noticeable. Having it shorter wouldn’t stop anyone from recognizing him, but it would cut the number of looks thrown his way. That was the key – stay low, stay humble, stay dull. Under any circumstances, do not attract unnecessary attention. Have average looks, have average manners, have average intelligence, be an all-around average girl and soon enough no one would care if you live or die! Blend in well enough and you might as well not exist. Mrs. Sun trimmed her own and her children’s hair, Yue Lung had seen the hair scissors in the bathroom. They were kept in a sleeve that looked homemade, and at least a decade old. One could only hope the scissors themselves were newer than that, or at least kept sharp – no such luck. Most things in the household were long past their glory days, full of holes or chips and dull as a cloudy day or a newborn’s teeth. The unsteady shhhk of the dull scissors trying to cut through a thin strand and Yue Lung’s frustrated grunts must have been what eventually caught Mrs. Sun’s curiosity. “Heavens! Dear girl, what on Earth are you doing?” Yue Lung thought the answer should have been clear as day, but he answered anyway. Mrs. Sun shook her head in disbelief and affectionate frustration. But, since the damage had been done, she demanded to even out the cut. “Aiya girl, you should have to come me in the first place!” she nagged as she snipped. “I would have cut it. I don’t understand why you would want to, your hair is so beautiful, Dai Yu.” Feeling that Mrs. Sun wouldn’t quit until Yue Lung gave some excuse to his haircut, he decided to play on a bit of admiration. He had found that often a transparent flattery would fall flat and have the opposite effect desired, and it was better to be less direct about the approach. It tended to work best with a bashful admission. “I wanted it to be like yours”, he mumbled quietly, affecting an embarrassed tone. It worked exactly how he had wished it to – Mrs. Sun cooed at him, calling him a silly girl but leaving it at that. Once she was content with Yue Lung’s new haircut, she called her sons to take a look. Yue Lung twirled around, supposedly pleased and proud. Yen Tai just said it looked fine and left like the moody teenager he was, but Soo Ling stayed quiet and thoughtful. Yue Lung thought he might have caught the longing look he had thrown at the long strands abandoned on the floor. He was weirdly silent for a few seconds, before saying “Dai Yu looks nicer with short hair.” Some kind of dam broke inside Yue Lung. He looked at the arm-long strands strewn about, curling around each other in embraces soon to be broken to clean up the remains of a burial. Dignity shed, thrown aside to further the selfish ends of another. A once treasured possession turned to trash. “How could you say that?” said Yue Lung, throat constricting, and his voice wasn’t any easier to mask than the tears falling to the floor. With a sharp inhale he tried to mask as anger, fully in vain, he broke down with a sorry mewl. “Aiya, it’s okay, it’s okay! It really looks nice on you!” Mrs. Sun tried to comfort. “Dai Yu, it’s alright. You look so pretty with your new hair! It makes you look so much softer!” Soo Ling ran to the kitchen and came back a little while later with a few almond cookies in hand. He offered them to Yue Lung, while Mrs. Sun still petted his back and muttered Aiya, poor girl, and I knew you would regret it. “Dai Yu, don’t cry. It’s just hair.” Just hair? Of course a boy would think it was just hair. He jerked at the look Yue Lung threw at him, like it had physically stung him. The Dai Yu he knew was distant and stiff, even cold, but always reserved, so he wasn’t prepared for the concentrated vitriol pouring out of the girl. He hesitated little before wisely fleeing from the girl. All this was hidden from Mrs. Sun, who unknowingly dried the tears of a beast and privately chided her son for being so rude to a crying girl. “Dai Yu, why don’t we gather up this hair and braid it. You can keep it safe until your hair grows back.” Silently, exhausted, Yue Lung nodded slowly. “I’ll do it myself. I’m sure you had something else to do before I disturbed you.” “Oh, it’s no trouble. Go find some pretty ribbon in the –“ “Please let me do it alone.” Mrs. Sun finally understood he needed a moment alone and left to find the ribbon herself. Yue Lung quietly, slowly, gathered the strands together. His neck itched. The short hairs from the last clean-ups had stuck to the skin. The ends of the dead tail of hair were uneven. It was an ugly thing, gathered up from the floor, not bundled together before being cut off. A dead keepsake, a far cry from the real thing, and the pain of it was more pressing than the dear memory. He would give it a proper burial. This one thing would escape the legacy of Lee Hong Lung and gain back some of its dignity in death.
--
I couldn’t find Sing’s mother’s name, so I decided to call her Sun Ci-Hui. Also I’m currently watching a k-drama called Rookie Historian Goo Hae-Ryung, and the prince is one of my favorite characters ever because he’s so sweet and innocent, and right after finishing an episode I go write calculating bitches like Yue Lung and Ivan:D What can I say, I like variety.
#btw all the characters in rookie historian are impossibly beautiful#and the main character is awesome#go watch it#banana fish#fan fiction#yut-lung lee#sing soo ling#wip scene#WIPtale
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Where the Green Grass Grows - Part 1. A Real Fine Place to Start
@imanuglywombat credit for the moodboard/art!
Summary: After leaving town in 2001, Marianne Grace Barnes swore she’d never step foot in Texas again. She was happy with her life in San Francisco. She had great friends, a great job, and a loving boyfriend. But when her mother insists she come home after six long years away, Marianne comes face to face with someone she vowed to never lay eyes on again. Now the questions arise: Is he so different from the man who broke her heart? Is she so different from the girl she used to be?
And most importantly, is she as happy as she really thinks she is?
A story of love, heartache, and that special feeling of being home.
MASTERLIST
Pairing: AU Cowboy!Steve Rogers x OFC
Warnings: Swearing
Author’s note: This is my entry for @arrowsandmixtapes ‘s RomCom Writing Challenge! So sorry for the late entry, Covid has been a whirlwind of a time.
Prompt: Sweet Home Alabama (2002)
***
The streets of San Francisco were their normal, misty grey as Marianne Barnes rushed down the sidewalk. Scrubbing at the technicolor specks of paint that covered her arms, she wondered why that day of all days she had decided to introduce the splatter paint portion of her student’s curriculum. The current semester was focused on abstract and modern art. Slowly she’d been introducing them to all of the history and techniques behind the different styles before allowing them to try it out for themselves. While initially it seemed like a fantastic idea, she soon realized that allowing a group of middle schoolers the freedom to literally throw paint was a recipe for disaster. Luckily, she had her art smock to cover the entirety of her clothes, but that had not saved her arms and legs from the ricochet of paint as the over enthusiastic kids hurled globs of color as hard as they could at blank canvases. Continuing to rake her nails against the skin of her arms, she sighed in frustration. She really should have taken a few more minutes to wash up one more time.
It was important that she look nice tonight. Tony, her boyfriend, had invited her to dinner stating he had some “big news”. Marianne assumed that it probably had to do with the big business deal he’d been working on for his company. Tony was a visionary of sorts. Having come from family money, his future was always to be well off. However, he had taken the extra steps to truly make something of himself and slowly over the years of his career he had come to own the single leading company in clean energy technology. She was proud of him – even if his job did take up a large amount of his life. However, without his job she probably wouldn’t have met him. She thought back to the embarrassing moment in which they had met nearly a year ago.
Marianne pulled at the neckline of her dress, the Peter Pan collar currently feeling as though it was going to choke her as she shifted uncomfortably by the food and drink table. As much as she liked being there for her best friend, she really wished Natasha would stop inviting her to these kinds of events. While Nat insisted that she’d stay right by Marianne’s side, she always ended up alone at some point in the night, twiddling her thumbs in a room filled with strangers. Having met in art school, Marianne always found it incredibly interesting how drastically different her and Natasha’s careers were. While Marianne had opted for teaching the youths of America about Monet, Dali, van Gogh, and Matisse, Natasha had settled on the curation of art, a field that suited her much more appropriately. The rubbing of elbows with the hoity toity rich was a perfect fit for Nat’s easy, sophisticated, and, for lack of a better word, sexy personality. With her naturally fire-red hair, knockout curves, and perfect smile, Natasha was the type of woman that when she walked into a room, every person either wanted to be her or to fuck her. There was no in-between. Even for Marianne, who supposed in some ways, she’d like to be a bit more like Natasha.
That’s why she was so surprised to be approached as she clung to her glass of champagne and pretended to stare contemplatively at the same painting of a flat tire for the fifth time that night.
“What do you think?” asked a smooth and timbred voice from beside her.
Marianne chuckled slightly to herself continued to trace the thick brushstrokes of the painting with her eyes. “Well, considering the artist’s theme of stagnation, I think they’ve gone a bit too on the nose with this one. It’s…unimaginative,” she commented, before turning to see the handsome man beside her. If she’d actually been drinking the champagne in her hand, she might have choked on it. Luckily for her, she hadn’t.
The man continued to stare at the painting in front of them, a contemplative expression that brought his thick, dark brows together, before he turned his gaze to her, “So you don’t think it will sell tonight then?”
“Oh no, it will definitely sell. I’ve been to enough of these things to know that it’s not really about taste, so much as it is status. If the artist seems important enough, then so is their art,” smirked Marianne, this time actually taking a sip from her champagne flute to avoid focusing on the intriguing way in which the stranger was staring at her.
“Ah, yes. The snobbish elites’ inability to see past their own social status,” he commented dryly, taking a sip from his own flute.
“Hey, you said it, not me,” Marianne laughed, feeling as though she might have made a connection with a reasonable person just yet.
“And who do I have the pleasure of giving me all the inside critique?”
She extended her free hand out to the man, “Marianne Barnes—art teacher, friend of the curator, and overall critic of the snobbish elite.”
He took her hand in his own, his grasp soft, yet strong as he shook her hand and stared her directly in the eye, “Tony Stark – member of the snobbish elite.”
Marianne blanched at the words, the overwhelming feeling of embarrassment taking over her as she realized her mistake. She was just beginning to open her mouth to apologize when Tony held up a hand.
“No need to apologize—” he inhaled deeply, looking around the room and the people that inhabited it “—Truth be told, I don’t think I can stand a single person in here. You excluded of course, but who knows that may change.”
Marianne wrestled with the smile that fought to match Tony’s own wry grin. He was too charming for his own good. Taking a second to look over his expensive suit, Italian leather shoes, and $200 haircut, she reckoned he was much too handsome and successful for her own good. Still, she figured there was no harm in a little conversation.
“Say, I like your accent. Where’s that from? Georgia? Alabama?” asked Tony, stepping in to close the distance between them and making the interaction feel so much more intimate than it should.
Marianne gasped in mock offense, “Excuse you sir, but I am Texas born through and through.”
“My apologies ma’am,” Tony said, holding a hand to his heart in sincerity. “It’s never my intention to offend beautiful women. But for some reason, it just, well, happens.”
That comment made Marianne pause, “You think I’m beautiful?”
He took a moment to assess her, raking his eyes over her from head to toe. Not in a predatory way, but more like he was assessing another painting on the wall. Then he answered, voice heavy in sincerity, “Most beautiful piece of art I’ve seen tonight.”
The sharp tone of Marianne’s ringtone brought her out of her musing and back to the present as she waited at a crosswalk for the light to change. Digging into the deep contents of her purse, she cursed under her breath, pushing aside pens, pencils, scrunchies, lotions, and general clutter before her fingers closed around the buzzing device.
“Hello?”
“I just really don’t understand why Serena and Nate just don’t get together! I mean, he basically broke up with Blair for her, the least she could do is date him,” groaned Natasha from the other end, before Marianne heard the distinct crunch of popcorn being chewed.
“Hey! Spoilers, I haven’t watched last night’s episode yet! Besides, I really don’t have time to talk about Gossip Girl right now,” she huffed, glancing at the time on her watch and realizing she was even later than she thought.
“Well hurry up and watch it! I want to talk about what Chuck did. You’ll never believe it—”
“Seriously Nat, no spoilers!” Marianne exclaimed, now picking up her speed as she crossed the street, trying not to catch the heel of her stilettos on the cracks in the pavement. “And I meant it, I’m running late for my dinner with Tony. He’s taking me to my favorite restaurant to celebrate the contract with Pym Technologies.”
“Wow. I never would have expected Tony to slum it all the way to the Mission District,” Natasha snorted.
“What? No, I’m in SoMa right now. We’re going to Omakase,” Marianne said, jumping back when a bicyclist zoomed past her, nearly knocking her into a dirty puddle.
“Oh…”
“What?”
“Nothing, it’s just that I have a distinct memory of you saying you’d rather lick an L.A. sidewalk than eat raw fish, but I have seen you scarf down more burritos from Taqueria Cancun than I can count.”
Marianne bristled at the comment; she always did this. “My tastes are allowed to change Nat,” she bit back, seeing the sign for the sushi restaurant her and Tony frequented in sight.
Natasha was quiet for a moment on the other end of the line before she responded, “Yea, yea, you’re right. I’m sorry. Well, have fun at dinner and tell Tony I say congratulation.”
Sighing, Marianne immediately felt guilty for the harsh way in which she spoke, “Thanks Nat, I’ll tell him. And don’t worry, I’ve got the episode queued up first on Tony’s TiVo. I’ll watch it tonight and then I’ll call you tomorrow and we can gab all about why Serena needs to pull her head out.”
The comment earned Marianne a small laugh from Natasha, alleviating some of her guilt, “I’m holding you to that. Talk to you later hun, love you.”
“Love you too.”
Marianne closed her phone just as she was approaching the front doors to Omakase. Throwing her phone back into her purse she pushed the glass door open, knowing that Tony was probably already waiting for her at their favorite table. The first thing she noticed upon entering the restaurant was the distinct lack of the normal bustling sounds of other people, the second thing was the presence of orchestral music, and the third were roses. Hundreds and hundreds of red roses. Stacked on every available surface, the flowers littered the restaurant in large arrangements placed in beautiful crystal vases.
Silently, her heeled feet padded across the rose petal covered floor as she tentatively stepped further into the building, wondering for a just a second if she was in the right place. However, as she rounded the corner to see Tony dressed impeccably, string quartet situation behind him as he stood next to the only table in the dining room, she knew this was exactly where she was supposed to be.
“Tony…” she approached him cautiously, unable to stop from looking around the room and all its grandeur.
“There she is. For a second, I thought you found something better to do,” joked Tony, closing the distance between them and kissing her lightly on the lips.
“Sorry, I got out of class a bit late and then Nat called. What’s going on?” Marianne asked, still unsure what the big romantic gesture was for.
“What? A man can’t treat his girlfriend to a romantic night?”
“Well yes, but I thought we were celebrating your deal.”
“Well, I mean that’s part of it, but we’ll get to that later. Here, why don’t you set your things down? I have something I want to ask you.” Tony slipped Marianne’s purse from her shoulder and placed it gently down onto her chair before turning to her and taking both of her hands in his. “So, a little precursor, I closed the deal with Pym Technologies.”
“Oh my god, Tony that’s amazing! I knew you were going to get it,” Marianne exclaimed, smiling widely at her boyfriend. She moved in to give him a congratulatory hug, but Tony stopped her, holding her away from him at arm’s length.
“Oh, hold on, let’s not celebrate too soon. At least let me finish my little speech and then we can jump up and down like teenage girls,” responded Tony. His tone, while its usual joking manner, held a tense and clipped edge to it that Marianne didn’t hear often. Nervously she shifted her weight, wondering what he could possibly have to ask her. Then slowly things started to click into place. Secluded restaurant. Red roses. String quartet. Tony��s favorite red wine on the table. Big important question. Oh.
“Well, once this deal goes through, I’m going to be spending a lot of time traveling internationally. Things are going to pick up at Stark Industries and I realized that life is about to get a lot more hectic and messier. Then of course, this brought on a whirlwind of existential questions about life and its meaning and purpose and what I really want out of it and…and I’m rambling aren’t I?”
“Yea, just a bit,” Marianne answered with a small smile.
“I had a point—”
“Did you?”
“I did—” Tony released his hold on her hands to dig into the pocket of his suit pants “—and I think it sounded a bit like this.” Marianne gasped lightly as Tony dropped to one knee. “Basically, to make a long, drawn-out story short, I realized that no matter how messy and crazy the future scenarios of my life, one thing remained a constant. You. You by my side as my wife. So…” Producing a small, black box from within his hands, he opened it slowly to reveal a large, sparkling engagement ring. “Would you do me the honor of marrying me?”
Marianne stood speechless for a moment, consumed by the surprise turn of events. For a second the musing thought that she would have definitely forgone splatter paint today if she had known she was getting proposed to, flashed through her mind before she nodded enthusiastically.
“Yes, yes I will marry you.”
That’s how one month later Marianne found herself entering Natasha’s apartment, arms completely stuffed with nothing but wedding magazines, samples, and binders. Dropping her things into a large pile on the carpet of Natasha’s living room floor, Marianne breathed in deep before turning her attention to an open portfolio on the coffee table. The bright splashes of reds and blues of oversized poppies amidst a large, open sky caught her attention, drawing her in.
“Hey Nat, are you looking to take in a new collection at the gallery?” she called towards the kitchen, unable to pull her eyes away from the beautiful and almost impressionistic take on the flowers.
“Yea, one of my boss’s associates is crazy about these giant oil paintings of poppies. He wants us to consider doing a whole show of them. We’re equally as enthusiastic, but I guess the artist is hesitant about selling their work,” answered Natasha from across the apartment.
“Don’t most artists want to sell their art?”
“You’d think, but judging from the California poppies, they’re probably some west coast artist that doesn’t want to ‘sell out’ and ruin the integrity of their work.” Marianne could almost hear Natasha rolling her eyes through the walls.
Staring even harder at the small collection of paintings as she flipped through the portfolio, Marianne asked, “Are you sure they’re California poppies?”
Just as she asked the question, Natasha came around the corner, two large glasses of prosecco in hand. “Of course. We’re in California. They’re poppies. California poppies,” Natasha shrugged, placing the glasses on the coffee table.
“Yea, I guess you’re right,” Marianne said, sharply closing the portfolio and shaking off the strange sense of melancholy that the paintings evoked.
“Jesus, when you said you wanted to come over and talk about wedding stuff while we watched Gossip Girl, I thought you meant something like looking at a couple of magazines, not planning the whole thing in one night!” Natasha said, eyes growing wide as she took in the sheer amount of materials Marianne had arrived with.
“Yea, well that’s pretty much all the time I actually have to plan this thing. Tony wants to get married soon so that we can go on our honeymoon before he has to start traveling for work. Once things pick up, we’re not really sure when he’ll get another free moment,” sighed Marianne, sitting down on the floor and beginning to organize her mess.
“I’m surprised he’s letting you plan this and it’s not him making all the decisions,” remarked Natasha, sitting down across from her, and picking up a magazine.
“What do you mean?” asked Marianne, looking up quizzically at her best friend.
“Well…” began Natasha, hesitating for a moment before continuing, “I just mean that Tony tends to have a habit of making decisions for you.”
“What? No, he doesn’t,” Marianne scoffed.
“Uhuh…okay. Well then, who decided shortly after meeting you that your car, your first car, your baby, wasn’t good enough and that you needed a new one?” Natasha asked challengingly.
“It was old Natasha. People get new cars every day. Tony was just kind enough to buy me a new one,” Marianne reasoned with her, picking up her glass of prosecco from the coffee table.
“Okay, what about your job? You were working at that cute little public, elementary school that you always said you loved so much. Next thing I know, you’ve got this new job at a private middle school.”
“Tony had some connections and there’s nothing wrong with moving up in your career. I’m pretty sure that’s the whole point of a career, Nat.”
“Your apartment then? A week after he saw your apartment for the first time, he insisted that you move in with him.”
“That apartment was a rat-infested shit-hole and you know it. Things were going well, and he had the space. I took a leap of faith and moved in with him. I think it went alright considering the fact that I’m marrying the man. Just- what are you getting at Nat?”
“I guess I’m just worried that these major life decisions aren’t what you want, but instead what Tony wants. I mean, you’ve been together barely a year and already you’re more like him than you are you. You dress posher, you act posher, your accent’s fading…I want you to be happy Marianne, but I don’t want you to lose yourself along the way,” Natasha ended her small rant by taking a large gulp of her drink.
Marianne placed a hand on her friends arm reassuringly, “Hey. It’s alright. I’m happy, I promise. And it’s still me! I’m still the same Marianne Barnes you met in art school – just a little fancier is all.” She laid her southern accent on thick near the end of her sentence, lifting up her left hand to waggle the large engagement ring in her friend’s face. Natasha laughed, knocking her hand out of the way, and rolling her eyes at Marianne’s blatant bragging.
“Shut up, now let’s work on your guest list and invitations first while we let the drama of Manhattan’s Upper East Side consume us,” said Natasha, exchanging the magazine for a binder as she turned her TV on with the press of a button.
Taglist:
@hidden-behind-the-fourth-wall
@caffiend-queen
@grincheveryday
#RomComWC#RCWC#steve x ofc#au!steve#cowboy!steve#steve rogers#sweet home alabama#romantic comedy#fanfiction#fanfic#tony stark x ofc#enemies to lovers
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Maid Malevolent
This is a screenplay project I’ve been working on for the last couple of months. I don’t have any long term plans with it, but I wanted to let more people read it. The story does get graphic so if you don’t like blood, violence and themes of domestic violence and sex, this is not for you.
Please enjoy and if you have any thoughts on the storyline, feel free to share them.
EPISODE I
EXT. FOREST – NIGHT
A thick fog rolls over the old forest floor. Unknown creatures hiss and chirp in the distance as an unseen specter glides through the the underbrush towards something in the distance. It speeds forward, knocking branches and trees out of its way. The ambience has grown now, louder, more demonic in tone. A small cabin emerges out of the darkness, red light pours out from the windows. The specter is growing faster and faster, the cabin growing closer and closer. The ambience has crescendoed and transformed into the blaring scream of an electric guitar. The specter comes up onto the porch and the door flies open to reveal a small rock concert in progress. A mosh pit surrounds the stage as the band stands centerfold. AMY ROSE, a young poet and singer, stands before the audience with her arms outstretched. LORNE, a tall bearded man, stands to Amy's right on bass. To her left, RUTH MARLOWE, a quiet but troubled soul shredding it on the guitar. NED, the drummer, pounds out a hard steady beat as doom metal pounds on.
AMY
(Singing)
Maid Malevolent, spare my soul, I'm not the one that wronged you. They took your girl and your mortal life. Bring the demons their needed hell! Maid Malevolent, you've traveled far, to the future where the wasteland waits. Time and space can't stop you now, burn the wizards army to the ground! Maid Malevolent, the end is nigh, with the coming of Asmodeus. You may be damned or you might just fly. So cross your heart, and hope to die! Legend! Legend! Legend!
Amy takes a step away from the spotlight as Ruth comes in with a earsplitting riff. She seems to be possessed by something greater than herself as she plays. The trauma of an unspoken past echoes through each chord, and the crowd eats it up.
Cut to
A stream of satanic images speed across the screen suddenly. Pentagrams, ritual sacrifices, nuclear annihilation, all culminating in one final image of a glowing red tesseract hovering in space.
Cut Back
RUTH strums the final chord and the crowd is ecstatic. Their cheers imitate the satisfied roars of wild beasts and dinosaurs. The show has been a success. Ruth and Amy look at each other and exchange smiles of approval.
INT. CABIN – LATER
The audience has departed now, and the band is nearly done packing up all their equipment. MARCUS, the band manager, talks with the OWNER of the cabin as he collects the bands earnings for the night. They seem to be quietly arguing over something. Lorne helps Ned pick up the drum set.
OWNER
I made myself perfectly clear. 100 bucks for an hour, that was the deal we agreed on.
MARCUS
Look I feel like I'm not asking for much here.
OWNER
I'm not renegotiating. If you wanted an extra 25 dollars, you should've played an extra 15 minutes.
MARCUS
Look, this band is black magic incarnate, my friend. Last week I witnessed a skinhead convert to Judaism over this fucking music. We're top notch shit. And we've got a whole day of driving ahead of us; gas money is everything. Now imagine in a couple years when these guys hit it big. Do you wanna be known as the guy who made it so we couldn't reach the next gig?
Amy exits from a nearby bathroom and lights a cigarette.
NED
Hey, Amy, do you have the keys to the van?
AMY
Why would I have them? Ruth's the one driving.
NED
Well I don't know where Ruth is. Can you find her so we can put our shit away?
AMY
Fine. You know it's not that hard to go look for her yourself.
LORNE
How are we supposed to find someone that constantly avoids human contact.
NED
You know she hides from us after every show.
AMY
She's not hiding, jackoffs. She likes her space. She's probably outside having a smoke.
(Heads for the front door before looking over at Marcus)
Don't give him too hard of a time, Marc.
MARCUS
Don't criticize me for being a good manager for you people. How about this, 15 dollars and I'll let you keep some merch?
EXT. CABIN – Night
Amy walks out into the fall air. She takes another pull of her cigarette. Above the main doorway she notices a silhouette perched at the entrance. A ladder is conveniently placed to climb up.
Ruth sits performing some form of meditation. She plays with a red rubber band on her wrist. Amy carefully edges her way up next to Ruth.
AMY
Whatcha thinking about?
RUTH
Nothing really. It's kind of the whole point of meditation.
AMY
(Pulls out a cigarette for Ruth)
You'll have to teach me about it sometime. Damn, have you seen the moon?
RUTH
(Lights cigarette with Amy's)
What about it?
AMY
It's crazy looking.
RUTH
(Looks at moon)
Reminds me of a dream I had.
AMY
(Stare at Ruth)
Tell me about it.
The two stare at a glowing red moon. Cigarette smoke floats across the clear autumn sky as the stars shine down on the two.
RUTH
I'm floating through space on some giant rock. And I can see all the planets in the sky. And then there's this bright light hovering over me, looked like the moon. I can feel everything around me moving. Gravity was pulling everything in every direction except for me. I'm... bleeding, but I'm not in pain. And you were there.
AMY
(Slides closer to Ruth)
Really? What was I doing?
RUTH
You were just staring at me. You looked sad, like I did something wrong.
AMY
Why do think you did something?
RUTH
I don't think I did. It was like I just made a difficult decision, and whatever it was I did it for you.
AMY
(Closing in for a kiss)
What happened next?
RUTH
(Puts out her cigarette and places her hand on Amy's cheek)
I think I was going to kiss you, but I woke up before I saw anything else.
AMY
Well that was a dream. This is real.
Amy and Ruth's lips meet at last, but are unfortunately cut short by the guys.
NED
So... how's finding the keys coming along?
AMY
(Takes her time to stop kissing Ruth)
As a matter of fact–
(Holds out Ruths keys)
I just found them.
LORNE
Can we go now? We've got two hours of driving before we're near the next motel.
MARCUS
Actually, that will not be necessary.
INT. VAN – Night – Moving
The band's van rattles down a dirt path on a lonesome forest road. Ruth and Amy sit in the front while Marcus, Lorne, and Ned sit in the back.
NED
So when were you going to tell us that you rented a house?
MARCUS
Well I was–
LORNE
How much did it cost?
MARCUS
It wasn't–
AMY
How much money do we have now?
MARCUS
If you would all please shut up for a moment. It didn't cost anything. I happen to know a guy who lives out here. He was leaving for a fishing trip, and I told him I'd watch the house for a couple days. I was gonna tell you all after the show, but I got stuck arguing with the owner.
RUTH
You were trying to weasel 15 dollars out of him.
MARCUS
I earned that 15 for you all! Don't judge me for trying to help out. And how the hell do you even know what we were talking about? You were on the fucking roof.
AMY
You know the howl of a weasel can be heard up to 5 miles away.
MARCUS
Glad to know I'm appreciated by you all.
RUTH
Just tell us where we're going, Marcus.
MARCUS
(Points out the window)
Take a left here, and follow the road.
A sign up sticks off the road reading:
RISING MOON ROAD
Ruth drives off the main road and into the fog. The road grows narrower as they continue driving.
AMY
Are you sure we're driving in the right direction?
MARCUS
It should be coming up pretty soon.
RUTH
Are we even on a road anymore? If this is the wrong spot, I don't know how I'm gonna get out of here.
NED
Anyone wanna pull up a map?
LORNE
(Looking at his phone)
No luck, we've got no cell signal up here.
MARCUS
I know what my friend, said. It's the first left past the cabin, and... and then he said...
AMY
Have you even been to this place, Marcus?
Marcus says nothing.
NED
You've got to be kidding me.
LORNE
So we're completely lost, great. We should've just headed for the mot–
AMY
LOOK OUT!
Ruth slams the brakes right before plowing into a man standing in the middle of the road. He stares at them, bug-eyed, mumbling something under his breath.
MARCUS
Get out of the road asshole!
He stumbles out of the way of the van and continues walking. As he walks past her window, Ruth notes the mans strange appearance. Tattoos cover his entire body, and his beard is long and gray. He vanishes into the fog behind them.
LORNE
Where the hell did he come from?
NED
Who gives a shit? I just wanna get the fuck out of here.
AMY
(Points ahead)
Look.
The group makes out the dim porch lights of a cabin.
MARCUS
Told you I knew where we were going. Now come on, before more tweakers show up.
AMY
Ruth, are you alright?
RUTH
What?
Amy is staring down at Ruth's side. Her hand is gripped around a small knife hanging off of her belt. Ruth quickly lets go.
RUTH
Yeah... I'm ok.
AMY
Are you sur–
RUTH
Let's keep moving.
The group drives towards the cabin without another word. The strange man watches from a distance.
INT. FRIENDS CABIN
Marcus unlocks the front door and the band enters with their gear. The house is quaint and generally inviting.
MARCUS
The lights should be around somewhere.
Marcus flips a switch, and the room is illuminated. A number of animal heads are mounted on the wall. Lorne notes the double barreled shotgun hanging over the mantle piece by a large hearth.
NED
(Approaching the heath)
If anyone can find me some matches I can get a fire going.
LORNE
First we get everything out of the van. I'm not leaving anything outside. Not with crazy old men wandering around.
Lorne and Ned head back outside to grab the rest of the gear. Ruth walks over to a couch in the lounge area of the room. It folds out into a bed.
MARCUS
There should be two more bedrooms upstairs. You and Ruth can have the main one, and I'll take the guest bedroom.
AMY
Sounds like a plan. How about you head up there now and make sure.
Marcus is about to protest, but stays quiet after Amy gives him a look. He ascends the staircase and leaves Amy and Ruth alone downstairs. Ruth wraps her arms around Amy and tries to kiss her. Amy doesn't reciprocate the feeling, but instead holds out her hand.
AMY
First things first.
RUTH
What?
AMY
You don't need it. We're safe here.
RUTH
I'm not... I'm fine. I'm in control.
AMY
If you're in control, give it to me.
Hesitant, Ruth slowly pulls out her knife and hands it to Amy.
AMY
You don't always need to be protecting me.
RUTH
I'm sorry.
AMY
It's alright. I feel safe enough just being with you.
RUTH
Thank you.
INT. CABIN – Later
A fire is finally going in the hearth, and the band sits around the dining room table. Lorne opens a bottle of Whiskey and pours and the group revel in the drinking. Lorne starts telling a drunken story.
LORNE
So I'm drunk out of my mind right now and we haven't even gotten to the party yet. But I'm an idiot and I feel like a million bucks. And we walk past this store, with one of those big window displays in it. I walk past, and out of nowhere this guy starts talking shit to me. We get into an argument, and then I'm just start screaming at this dude in the middle of the night downtown. Finally I'm like, fuck this guy, and I punch him in the face. Glass shatters in front of me and my hand is bleeding. I punched the window to the store. I'd been arguing with my reflection the whole time. I needed 10 stiches for that cut on my hand. Still stings when it gets cold outside.
NED
I can safely say I've never been that drunk.
AMY
Oh, and you don't have any horror stories you'd like to share?
NED
None like that. But I will say this–
(Rolls up his sleeves to reveal the tattoos on his arms)
–That used to be a girls name, and that also used to be a girls name. And I don't remember either of them in the slightest.
MARCUS
Well that's all well and good. What I wanna know, Ned, is who's Enrique and why is his name tramp stamped on you?
RUTH
Wait what?
NED
You said you wouldn't tell anybody!
MARCUS
You expect me to remember that in my current state?
NED
Fuck you.
AMY
I think we can all agree that Ned is free to love whoever he chooses to love. And I bet Enrique is a wonderful guy.
LORNE
What about you Ruth?
RUTH
What about me?
LORNE
We're all sharing stories. You gotta contribute something to the discussion.
RUTH
I don't really have any stories like that.
MARCUS
Oh come on darling, we've all made poor decisions. That's a part of being in a rock band. You do stupid shit sometimes. So fess up.
RUTH
Honestly, I don't have any good ones.
NED
Doesn't have to be good. I'm gonna be pissed off if we end this on my stupid decisions.
AMY
Guys, don't pressure her to–
RUTH
I've got one. I don't remember it very well, but here goes.
LORNE
We're all ears.
RUTH
So my dad used to keep all his guns in this tool shed next to our garage. He never let me go in there because he didn't trust me. But one day, I noticed where he hid the key for the shed. Bottom drawer by his bed. So I snuck into his room when he went to bed, got the key, and opened up the shed. And there was a ton of shit in there. Rifles, Shotguns, a fucking chainsaw– He was logger. And I notice this clear bottle lying on the floor. I pick it up and it's vodka. My dad liked to drink while he cleaned his guns. So, being a curious little kid, I took a sip, and then another. And another. Eventually I'm holding a shotgun in my hand. I'm 9 and I'm wasted. Then, I hear this scream come from behind me. I whip around just in time to see a raccoon right before I pulled the trigger.
NED
Holy fuck!
RUTH
And I don't remember looking at the raccoon as I did it. I just remember this red mist in the air when I opened my eyes. I'm also covered in raccoon guts. The whole neighborhood is awake now. Dogs are barking, Nina Parker, the old widow across the street, is wandering out on the lawn. And the icing on the cake was that the fucking cops showed up. It was a shit show.
MARCUS
Now that's a story right there. What the hell did your dad do when he found out?
RUTH
My dad? Um... he came outside, saw me holding the gun and–
Cut to
A young Ruth is seen cowering before the figure of her father. She's screaming but no sound is heard. Her father holds up his belt, lunges at Ruth and–
Cut Back
RUTH
He grounded me for two weeks... and decided to make chili with the racoon.
AMY
That's disgusting.
LORNE
Nah, that's just a Sunday in an RV camp.
RUTH
(Finishes her drink and stands)
Well, I think I'm gonna call it a night.
MARCUS
Oh come on, you can't call it quits now. This was just starting to get get fun.
RUTH
Unless someone else wants to drive tomorrow, which I doubt because you're all gonna be shit faced, I'm gonna need all the sleep I can get.
(Grabs her guitar, heads upstairs)
You know where to find me if you need me.
Ruth heads upstairs without another word. Amy follows close behind. She doesn't say another word to the rest of the group. The three men are left alone to their own devices.
MARCUS
(Pours another round of whiskey for the group)
Well, here's to another successful show.
LORNE
Cheers. So... what are we supposed to now?
Without a word, Ned reaches under the table and pulls up a small carved jewelry box. He smiles to himself for a moment, and then reveals.
LORNE
Whatcha got there, Dope Fiend?
NED
Half a pound of Electric Wizard.
LORNE
Nice.
MARCUS
And that?
NED
And what?
MARCUS
That.
Everyone looks in to see something else in the box. A small vial seems to glow an electric pink.
NED
Oh no, we're not doing that.
MARCUS
Oh come on, don't tease us like that.
LORNE
Is it dangerous?
NED
Potentially.
LORNE
What the hell is it?
NED
It's... a hallucinogen. Little bit of this, little bit of that.
MARCUS
Does it have penicillin in it?
NED
Uh... no.
MARCUS
Good. I'm allergic to penicillin.
NED
That should be the least of your worries with this.
LORNE
Ned, where the hell did you get something like this? Who did you even buy it from?
NED
Where doesn't matter, but they do live under a bridge.
MARCUS
Ned, I'm here to make stupid decisions tonight. So let me make stupid decisions.
NED
Marcus, I’m not joking, this shit will melt your face off.
LORNE
Then why do you even have it?
MARCUS
Yeah, you know what I think? I think you know that this is next level shit, and you want it all for yourself. Well as your manager, I am demanding you let us try this. If I'm gonna get fucked, I want it to be memorable.
The trio falls silent as each tries to read the others mind. The message conveyed, Ned opens the vial and takes out a dropper.
NED
Trust me, no one is gonna want to remember tonight.
INT. BEDROOM – Night
The room is dark except for a couple candles and the moonlight pouring in. Ruth lays on the bed with her guitar, quietly strumming a tune. Amy enters and starts to undress. She crawls into bed with Ruth and snuggles up next to her.
RUTH
I've been working on a new riff for when we get back in a studio.
AMY
Sounds metal. I mean everything you come up with is metal.
RUTH
Thanks.
AMY
I wish I had someone to teach me how to play growing up.
RUTH
It was the closest thing to therapy growing up. Whenever I felt bad, I just picked up the guitar and started playing. Only good my blood did for me.
AMY
You don't really talk about your family.
RUTH
Not much to say. We were all fucked up, and no one wanted to help us.
AMY
Why did you lie to them?
RUTH
(Sigh)
They didn't need to know, I guess.
AMY
You don't have to go easy on anyone. That's why you're here. These are the kind of people you can open up to. I know they feel like a lot, but they're not gonna judge you. I'm not gonna judge you. Everyone can be human here.
RUTH
Sometimes I just don't wanna be human.
(Brushes a scar across Amy's neck)
What good have humans done for you?
Amy takes hold of Ruth's hand. She kisses Ruth's callused and blisters fingers, and then places it against her breast. Ruth sets the guitar down on the floor.
AMY
I'd say this one has done a lot.
Ruth blows out the candles, and embraces her lover.
EXT. FOREST – Night
The wind has begun to pick up, and the trees moan and rock with the breeze. FOGERT, the crazy old man from earlier, is still wandering down the road. Through chattering teeth he mumbles a song to himself.
FOGERT
(Incoherent)
I see a bad moon a-rising. I see trouble on the way.
Fogert stops walking and stairs up into a tree. A single Raven looks down upon him from its perch. It doesn't make a sound. Fogert continues on with a quickened stride.
FOGERT
I hear hurricanes a-blowing, I know the end is coming soon. I fear rivers overflowing.
Fogert trails off as an extra strong gust of wind pushes against him. He shields his face from the cold. Fogert feels a strange sensation rush over him. Not the cold, it's something far more sinister.
FOGERT
I hear... the voice of rage and ruin.
An ambient red glow appears down the road ahead. A low rumble follows with it. Fogerts hands begin to tremble, and he grasps at a necklace around his neck. He mutters a jumble of words that don't make any sense. It sounds Latin. An incantation. The light grows brighter, as does the noise. A single thought runs through Fogert's head, hide.
He ducks into the thicket and behind a tree. His body is overtaken by fear, as a jet black car with red headlights rounds the bend. Fogert doesn't make a sound. His heartbeat pounds inside his head. The car slowly comes to stop in front of the tree. The drivers window lowers a crack. Bright red light pours out along with thick black smoke. Fogert hears a low growl like a tiger from within.
Tears roll down Fogert's face. Death has never been closer to him than it has right now. Suddenly, the window rolls back up, and the car drives off. Fogert doesn't leave his hiding spot until the sound of the engine is gone. As Fogert comes out of hiding, he hears the spreading of wings. The Raven leaps from it's perch and sails over Fogert's head, following after the car.
Fogert breaks into a sprint in the opposite direction. He follows the road until suddenly running off into the woods. He trips and stumbles his way to a small hut hidden away.
INT. FOGERTS HUT
He runs inside, locks the door behind him, and closes all the blinds. One by one he lights all the candles scattered about the hut.
FOGERT
I hope you got your things together, I hope you are quite prepared to die.
Old books, artifacts and empty bottles of booze are scattered about. He clears a space in the middle of the hut and draws a circle with salt.
FOGERT
Looks like we're in for nasty weather. One eye is taken for an eye.
He sits in the middle of the circle and clings to the necklace around his neck. He bows his head to worship a mural etched on one of the walls. A six armed man with a goat for a head meditates, the mark of the beast is etched across his chest.
FOGERT
Don't go round tonight, it's bound to take your life. There's a bad moon on the rise.
INT. CABIN – The Witching Hour
Ruth and Amy lay asleep in bed, naked. Music is faintly heard echoing throughout the house. A record plays downstairs: The End by The Doors. Lorne, Marcus, and Ned lie in a circle on the floor. They stair wide eyed at the ceiling. The fire still burns strong. Marcus takes a drag from a joint and passes it to Ned. He starts to cough, and crawls towards the kitchen sink. He pours himself a glass of water. He stares into the glass. Sparkling light and flickers of color dance through the water. When Ned pulls the glass away, Imps and goblins dance around his feet.
NED
I think I might– I'm about to– Yep... I'm freaking out right now. There's demons in the house.
MARCUS
Calm down. They probably work for the Feds. We should smoke the rest of the weed so there's no evidence.
LORNE
(Takes a hit from the joint)
Way ahead of you man.
Ned wanders back towards the guys, but stops and stairs out the window. A black car with red headlights has parked in front of the cabin.
NED
You guys see what I'm seeing?
MARCUS
See what?
NED
...Nothing.
Ned opens the door and stands in the doorway of the cabin. He stares at the car. The bright red lights are hypnotic.
NED
Damn, this shit is crazier than I thought.
The driver door flies open. More red light radiates from within. Smoke pours out from within the car. It crawls across the ground like a low hanging mist. The driver steps out onto the grass. Ned doesn't move, he's frozen in place as he stairs at the horror before him.
A mesh of leather, latex and metal is illuminated by the blood red light. It's face is concealed beneath a jet black motorcycle helmet decorated with spikes. Immense in stature, and utterly depraved. There is no face to look at, no eyes to humanize it.
And yet, as Ned stares into the black void of it's visor, he can sense... lust. Is it real, or just an illusion? Has his mind merely imagined this avatar of sadomasochism? This Gimp from Hell?
Ned gets an answer, just not the one he wanted. The Gimp pulls out a massive pistol.
NED
Oh...
A gunshot cuts through the night like thunder. Hot shrapnel rips through Ned's stomach–– In and out. He is thrown backwards onto the ground.
Ruth lurches up in bed, awoken by the gunfire.
AMY
What's going on?
RUTH
(Quickly putting on her clothes)
Something's wrong. Something's very wrong.
Lorne and Marcus lurch upright to see Ned, riving in pain.
MARCUS
What the fuck!
Lorne sees the Gimp approach the cabin. He scrambles to his feet and grabs the shot gun off the mantle. Luckily, it's already loaded. The Gimp walks through the door, it's shoulders are so broad that they rip the door frame off the wall. The Gimp aims it's gun at Lorne and Marcus.
LORNE
GET DOWN!
Marcus and Lorne dive behind the couch as a barrage of bullets rip through the furniture. Marcus bolts for the upstairs, and catches a bullet in the ankle. He collapses onto the stairs in agony. The Gimp approaches Marcus with a low primal growl. Another victim to abuse.
RUTH
(Upstairs)
Where's my knife? Amy, what did you do with my knife?
AMY
You're not going down there!
Lorne pops up behind the Gimp and fires into the back of it's head. The buckshot bounces off like rubber and back into Lorne's face. Lorne staggers away unable to see. He trips over a coffee table and falls right in front of the fire.
The Gimp stands over Lorne, and pushes him into the fire with one of it's giant boots. Lorne bursts into flames, screaming and riving in pain. The Gimp doesn't move, he holds Lorne to the fire until it's done.
The Gimp turns it's gaze back to Ned, crawling into the kitchen. The Gimp enters the kitchen and takes a kitchen knife. He grabs Ned's hair and exposes his neck. The Gimp proceeds to cut through his throat and decapitates him. The Gimp admires it's new toy as Lorne's burning corpse sets fire to the carpet and begins to spread.
Marcus has managed to crawl upstairs and Ruth and Amy pull him into their bedroom.
AMY
Oh my god, Marcus! What's going on? Are we being robbed?
RUTH
Where's Ned and Lorne?
MARCUS
T-that... that thing. It... it fucking killed them!
The Gimps heavy footsteps are heard ascending the staircase. The whole house seems to shake. The bedroom door is knocked off it's hinges as The Gimp enters the room. Ned's severed head is pressed into the Gimps crotch.
AMY
Oh my god!
Ruth grabs her knife off the nightstand and gets in front of Amy and Marcus.
RUTH
Get downstairs and start the van.
MARCUS
The whole downstairs is on fire. Don't you see the smoke?
They're trapped. The Gimp inches towards them, growling. There's nowhere to go. Ruth locks eyes with Amy. If this is it, she wants to look at her one last time.
The Gimp presses forward. Ruth charges at it, knife raised. With a swipe from one of it's massive arms, The Gimp sends Ruth flying across the room and smashes into the wall. She lies on the ground motionless. The Gimp goes to finish the job.
AMY
Ruth!
The Gimp suddenly turns its gaze on Amy. It tilts it's head as if to admire her beauty. Marcus steps between them.
MARCUS
Fuck you, you fucking freak!
The Gimp roars at Marcus. He has stepped between an alpha and it's mate. The Gimp picks up Marcus and slams him on the ground. It picks him back up and proceeds to smash his head into the wall over and over and over and over again until there's nothing left.
There's only Amy now. She tries to run but The Gimp pushes her into a corner of the room. It towers over her, the spikes protruding from it's jacket piercing into her skin. The Gimp strokes Amy's cheek with one of it's massive hands, spreading blood and bits of Marcus's brain across her face. Violated doesn't begin to describe what Amy is feeling.
Before the harassment can go on, a knife is driven into The Gimps back, crying out in pain. Ruth has reentered the fight. She's bloody and bruised, but alive.
RUTH
Get the fuck away from her!
The Gimp whirls around, and grabs Ruth by the wrist. Her bones can be heard breaking under the pressure. Then, in one swift motion, The Gimp sends Ruth flying through the window. She rolls off the roof, cutting herself on the glass, bounces off the roof of the van, and unto the cold wet ground.
The Gimp grabs Amy, and drags her towards the stairs. She screams and cries for help, but no one is there to save her. The fire has spread to most of downstairs as The Gimp leaves the way it came. It's work has been done. A monument to agony and suffering. Amy pulls and punches at The Gimps arm, but it's useless.
The Gimp takes Amy to the back of it's car and pops the trunk. It forces her into the boot. Right as it's about to lock Amy inside–
RUTH
Let... her... go.
Ruth, bleeding, crippled, and barely able to stand, limps towards The Gimp. It doesn't matter if she can't win, she's not letting this thing take the one thing she cares about. The Gimp watches Ruth's valiant attempt at walking, seemingly amused. It pulls out it's pistol and unloads the clip into Ruth. The bullets don't stop until Ruth hits the ground.
AMY
NO!
Amy bursts into tears as The Gimp slams the trunk closed, plunging her into darkness. Her muffled cries are heard as The Gimp gets back into his car, and drives away. The house is consumed by fire, and the bodies inside are reduced to ash. Only the corpse of Ruth remains. Lifeless, bloodied, the victim of a force greater than herself. All witnessed by the watchful eye of a lone raven.
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Thoughts on ‘The Beginning’
So - as with The Trial of Jim Gordon, I'm going to regard this episode as an extra, and do some meta as opposed to a full recap. My rationale is pretty much the same: this is an optional easter egg, and one that can easily be regarded as outside canon if desired.
Also - I found the deeper message, like that in The Trial of Jim Gordon, was so unpalatable it strained the show’s broader ideas and themes. So I’ve decided it’s not part of canon, for me.
Thoughts after the cut. Same disclaimer as with The Trial of Jim Gordon. I love the show. I tweeted like a maniac as episodes were airing, and got booted from Twitter. I want another network to pick it up.
However, my idea of meta is the old fandom one, which is critical analysis. If that’s not your thing, fine - but that’s what I’ll be doing here.
So, first things first.
I understand the rationale behind the time-jump, to an extent. The two extra episodes were just that - extra. One was spent on The Trial of Jim Gordon, which I have already been salty about in another post. This one was a sort of nod to the fans - offering Batman as a sort of reward. I’ve always been more interested in the story Gotham actually set out to tell, though, the story before Batman. The story of the city and its inhabitants. As such, I was always going to be less taken with an episode which was fundamentally mostly interested in giving us Batman.
But there were a couple of other issues that confused me. Gotham has always presented its own vision of the city, the characters. It’s shown it can be creative with canon, as well as adding its own ideas. Not only, for example, is their take on Oswald unique, but Fish Mooney – so pivotal in his development – only exists within Gotham’s universe. We got the Executioner and Cyrus Gold – yes, but we also got Nathaniel Barnes and Butch Gilzean, who had character and stories and lives all of their own.
I like that it thumbed its nose at Jim’s moustache. But go all the way with it. Yes, we know Batman’s coming. But if you want to continue to focus on Jim, and his wrestling with the notion of heroism – then just do that. Have the courage of your convictions. You can draw inspiration from the 60s series if you want, but you’re not shackled to it: Oswald doesn’t have to don a top hat and become 60s Penguin if you don’t want him to. The city doesn’t have to morph aesthetically into something we saw in the movies. You’ve told your own story. See it through.
That aside - the details.
The flash-forward was also a difficult ask because the story has been unnaturally cut short. Characters who were still wrestling with huge issues didn’t really get to address them in a truncated season and - as such - it’s sort of hard to accept where we find them now.
For example
We’ve seen Jim deal with several demons over the years. He has major issues with authority. His relationship with his father looms large. He wants to be a hero, but gets on better with the villains. He compartmentalises like crazy. He’s emotionally dishonest with others and himself. He enjoys playing dangerous games. He can’t resist a pissing match.
Am I to honestly believe that Jim has been entirely clean and pure in the interim? Why? Because the city was saved after near destruction? That’s happened before – he didn’t change. If anything, he’s more likely to have reverted to old habits once the crisis was over. Is he reformed because he’s a father now? Didn’t stop him killing Theo Galavan while Lee was pregnant.
Jim’s development was still very much in progress. As such, he feels unsatisfying here and - given what we know about him - you can’t help but feel he’s probably been up to his old tricks, but we’re just getting to see the sanitised surface of his life.
Lee likewise generally suffered quite a bit from the truncated season, and is good example of how the flash-forward doesn’t serve characters well.
In season 4, we saw her explore a darker side to her personality that the show has strongly and consistently hinted at since way back in season one, explicitly – when she says that Jerome’s confession of matricide thrilled her, and implicitly, when we wondered why the hell she was working in Arkham. We also saw her enjoy power in season 4. We saw her deeply committed to improving the lot of the residents in the Narrows, even if her way of going about it was short-sighted. We saw her shoot Sofia Falcone point-blank in the head in cold blood. We saw her, although many hated it, form an intense romantic relationship with Ed, where she seemed to find a fulfilment and recognition that she never found with Jim or Mario.
However, in season 5, the show clearly needed her to quickly step into the role of Mrs Jim and stepmother to Barbara. This meant becoming the angel at the hearth again, so it essentially erased those experiences, all that new characterisation.
As such, like Jim, she feels flat here – like we’re only getting to see a facade. She’s back in her old post of intermittently saying supportive things to Jim, and apparently quietly looking forward to him quitting his job. When she's bizarrely given the task of defusing the bomb, as Lucius the tech specialist stands by the side - it really only underlined that stripping her of all that history and characterisation meant that she doesn't really have a real role of her own in the wider workings of the city.
Now to the heart of my problem with this episode.
We’re told, without any explanation, that Oswald was sent to Blackgate shortly after reunification, and Ed to Arkham.
Now, to be honest, I find this fairly implausible. In all the rebuilding efforts, I doubt the authorities would have the will or energy to go back and rake over who committed what crime when the city had been abandoned by the government. And even if they did, both their actions – willingly manning the barricades (Oswald sustaining an injury when doing so), would have likely gone some way to mitigating everything else.
You could argue that it's for some nameless crime they committed later - but the show could easily have indicated that by throwing in a line about some heist or scheme they tried to pull off that ended up with them being put away.
Mayor James - ‘Oswald Cobblepot is getting released tomorrow’
Harvey - ‘Should have got 20 years for that stunt he pulled after reunification - not 10. So should Nygma.’
It didn't take the trouble to do that - so I'm left assuming they were sent away on the basis of crimes committed during the split.
However, this poses us with some problems both in terms of the plot, and more deeply in terms of narrative repercussions. Because if we are going to start to get persnickety about charging people with crimes they’ve committed, and then having them face actual consequences – well, we saw Barbara shoot loads of randoms in season 5. Going back not too far, Lee shot Sofia Falcone in the head. Going back further still, Jim murdered Ogden Barker and Theo Galavan, and was indirectly responsible for several deaths by inviting Sofia Falcone to town.
So – then – if we’ve decided that actually charging people and sending them to prison is now the done thing, why are we so selective with who’s punished? Gotham is a show with a million shades of grey. It gives its villains humanising back stories and motivations – but it ultimately still wants to punish a select few like it’s a black and white universe. You can’t do that when your good guys are equally tainted. Not unless you want to give off an unfortunate stench of hypocrisy, anyway.
Oswald flat-out asks Jim on the pier. I could have escaped this city. I chose to stand shoulder to shoulder with you and defend it. Why was I punished?
It’s telling that Jim never actually furnishes Oswald with any good answer to his question on the pier. Because - over the years - the show itself has never quite figured out how to answer this one. He can’t answer. What could he possibly say?
Why then, do some get away scot-free, while others are punished? Why, as Ed observes, do some get to make choices - while others never get the chance?
Jim and Lee are ‘heroes’ (arguably wandering into designated hero territory, at points). They're never going to face consequences for anything. Jim going on a self-pitying drinking binge doesn’t count - not compared to a ten-year stint in Blackgate or Arkham. Lee never expressed any remorse for Sofia.
As for Barbara, well Barbara is brought back into the heroic fold, too.
First and foremost, she’s offered moral redemption by bearing Jim’s child. Becoming a mother meant all previous sins were forgiven.
When we meet her here, we see now that she’s wealthy and powerful – playing a serious role in the city. It’s empowering in a way – but it’s also a means of re-affirming the established order and putting her back in her box. Remember that Barbara is from one of Gotham's elite families - and she's finally behaving like someone from an elite and wealthy family would do. To make her position clear - she’s explicitly placed in the same category as Bruce here in terms of her wealth and control of the city. I’m assuming that pregnancy also made magically clean whatever money she used to buy up the city when it was on its knees. She didn’t seem to have access to her parents’ cash before now - so she must have used her ill-gotten gains.
(I would argue that strategically buying up parts of the city post-reunification is screamingly Oswald, but like other chunks of his characterisation and storyline, it got sent Barbara’s way in season 5 in a bid to flesh out her character)
Last up, she’s not demanding a romantic relationship with Jim anymore, but they’re now forever safely tied in that context due to their daughter - there’s no mention of Tabitha, or casual mention of a new partner. Troublesome, restless Barbara, poor little rich girl – demanding of Jim’s time and attention, namelessly unhappy, and with a murky ‘past’ is now ‘fixed’ and neutralised.
Thinking about those brought into the fold necessarily asks you to think about those who were excluded.
Oswald might have roots in an elite family, like Barbara, but - crucially - he’s also one part poor immigrant (as well as all his many other markers of 'otherness'). He can’t escape this - we got his jangling east European music as soon as we saw him in this episode, and we were reminded of Gertrud when he said he would lay flowers on her grave as his first act after his release.
Ed’s background is unknown, but we can safely hazard a guess that there’s no moneyed upper-class upbringing there. He was also willing to step up when it counted, and was even used by those in power for their own ends during the break – but none of that counts for anything, apparently, and he finds himself in Arkham. You could argue that Ed is unwell, and needs to be in a hospital – but Arkham is not shown as a hospital in any meaningful sense in the show. It’s an oubliette, where you send those you just can’t be bothered dealing with. It doesn’t look any better here than we’ve seen it before. Why hasn’t anyone tried to improve it? Again, they don’t have to succeed - if you’re determined to stick to canon, but why not suggest that Jim or Lee or Lucius has at least tried to have conditions improved or an official review launched into treatment of inmates? It would go a long way to nodding to the long and complex histories these characters have. However things ended – Lee and Ed had a pretty intense relationship. They cared about each other. She can sleep at nights knowing he’s in Arkham?
Jeremiah might have been clever enough to win himself a scholarship and a way out of the circus – but it’s not enough to enable him to escape his past – either explicitly, when he was hunted down by his resentful brother, or implicitly – when he winds up in a similar situation to the other outsiders. Yes, Jeremiah might have been manipulating the situation – but he was still sent to Arkham and left vulnerable to casual abuse. Whether it’s intended or not, Jeremiah’s accusation of abandonment can be read more deeply. Bruce left town - but, just like Oswald and Ed, the city in general abandoned him.
Selina’s an example who, I would argue, reinforces that this moral order of the universe. She's always been depicted more ambiguously - capable of villainous acts, but tied to the heroes through her bond with Bruce. This is reflected in what we learn about her here. Like Jeremiah, she's been punished by Bruce's abandonment, but her grey heroic status means that she doesn't lose her freedom, despite living a life of crime.
So what picture are we painted of the city?
Aubrey James is back in charge - corrupt as Oswald ever was as mayor, but less competent. The city’s remains were picked clean by Barbara - it’s now seemingly largely owned and controlled by two scions of the city’s elite. The commissioner’s got more than one murder to his name. His wife has one attempted murder to hers - giving her the benefit of the doubt and assuming that Sofia’s still in her coma. Arkham’s still a hellhole.
What does all that say? Like I said before, you can argue that this was the inevitable endpoint – but you’ve changed the story already, so that doesn’t wash.
What you’re left with is the outsiders comprehensively punished. You can sacrifice your chance at escape and an easy life in favour of standing shoulder to shoulder to defend the city, you can be unwell, you can be a victim – doesn’t count. No matter what you do – you’ll always be an outsider anyway. You can’t win for losing. Some are chosen, some aren’t. And if you’re not, tough luck.
So in this universe, why the hell not don a showy suit and your best hat and commit yourself to villainy? Go for it, I say.
(Yes - I’m aware this is more analysis than it warranted, and it really just wanted to say ‘look Oswald has a monocle and Batman’s here now!’ - but I felt the need for venting meta)
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